i am an american fraternity guy, i drink as a social habit, i get high to make myself feel better, i played sports in high school, i am supposed to be the happiest type of guy in the world. i fantasize about death, dream of ending it, i make every wrong decision, i am just a joke, i cant be myself in reality, i have to constantly pretend to be someone else, i have no ego. i never get the girl, i never feel good, i pray to never wake up, and to top it off i am graduating with a psychology degree from a good school. i know that i have been given alot, but i cannot help but feel so hopeless and helpless. with all the help in the world i am still hopeless, why?