*This is me*

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I'm 118lbs and I hate it * I hate myself everytime I eat * I hate my family everytime they try and make me eat * I hate everyone that says "You can eat what you want...you're so skinny" * I'M NOT SKINNY * Why do people lie so much? I don't think I am suicidal but I want to lose so much weight that I fade away. I want to be able to walk in the snow without leaving a footprint. I want to dance in between the raindrops that fall. I want to be so light that I float instead of walk. I haven't been diagnosed with anything because I'm good at keeping it a secret but people have started noticing recently. I don't know what I'll do if they try and make me to go to a doctor or something. I won't go. That's what.


Staff Alumni
Consider this: what is the acceptable weight for your height according to Dr.'s reccomendations. You can go to a BMI site on the internet and check.

For example: Lets say your 5/6 and weigh 118lbs. You are thin but not underweight.
If you are 5'7 and weigh 118lbs you are underweight.

Underweight can have serious health issues, such as reducing your chance of ever bearing children, fainting and dizziness, and the worst one, organ deterioration. Yes, thats right. Your body needs fuel to operate, much like a car needs gas and oil. If you have less fuel and oil in your car everything starts to breakdown. Your body needs that energey, without it your body will compensate by reducing blood flow to extremeities (thus possible amputation like diabetes) and the organs in your body do not get the nutrients and oxygen your body requires (thus the dizziness and fainting) and they begin to deteriorate.

Why do you wish to fade away?
Well said Luliby. Our society is so obsessed with the idea of being super thin. It simply is not healthy. I hope you do check out the link liliby gave you and see where you are. You are beautiful anyway. :hug:
Welcome to the forum. As Luliby and Gentle have said.. being overly thin is not a good idea. I'm underweight and I absolutely hate it. Thats just me though. Hope to see you around.



Thanks for the welcomes and advice but I don't trust those BMI things. They are not accurate at all. And who is the doctor to tell me what to weigh? He doesn't even know me that well. Anyway, he's fat so anything he has to tell me about my weight means nothing because he'll be a hypocrite. And no offence, but you can't say I'm beautiful when you never even met me. I'm not. Trust me. I want to fade away because the more you fade the more people notice you. The thin girl always gets noticed before the fat girl. The fat girl becomes invisible when the thin girl is around. I don't want to be invisible.
When I read your post I almost smiled... if this was a year or so ago I *almost* could have wrote that. I dont take offence at you saying that, we're all our own worst critic. I'm sure that you're beautiful... we all are in our own way.

And with the fat and thin girl thing. The only reason that the thin girl gets noticed first is because the media paints the image and basically brainwashes us telling us that thin is beautiful - it isnt always. Something to think about I guess.

And sorry if that sounded preachy.. it wasnt on purpose.



Thin is always beautiful. It's pure. And classic and just looks nice. And society is that way and always will be. No one will change that. I don't think I get brainwashed by the media. I just hate being fat. It's horrible. You can give me one reason to be fat.....I can give you a million to be thin.


**BeautyIsThin** said:
And no offence, but you can't say I'm beautiful when you never even met me. I'm not. Trust me. I want to fade away because the more you fade the more people notice you. The thin girl always gets noticed before the fat girl. The fat girl becomes invisible when the thin girl is around. I don't want to be invisible.
What do you want to say to the people who notice you as a thin girl, who see you fading away?

You can be noticed for a lot of other things too, the things you are good at. I am sure you're good at a lot of things other than losing weight? One thing about having an ED (not necessarily being fat or thin) is that the things you were passionate about just fade and you're just a lifeless shell obsessed with your body shape. It isn't a life really (well to me it isn't!)

Society is made up of individuals whose ideas about bodies can vary widely. You may be around people who see thin as beautiful, classic and pure but equally, there are other people who don't put so much emphasis on this body shape, for them, the body is just a vehicle that needs to be taken care of to appreciate you, yourself.:smile:

Feeling how you're feeling right now is horrible. :arms: There is help and support out there if you want it.


Thin does not dictate beauty or purity, its whats in your soul that dictates true beauty.

welcome to the forum :hug:

:welcome: to the Forum.
I thought you were going to say you wanted to fade away so you *didn't* get noticed. I see your point though. Society is, sadly, geared towards thinness.
I hope you find what you're looking for here.
Take care, and if you need anything feel free to PM,



cyesisdemorte said:
Thin does not dictate beauty or purity, its whats in your soul that dictates true beauty.
Thin IS beauty.

People can say that it's not but it is. And they all know it.


Staff Alumni
So what your saying is Thin is Beauty and everyone, at a core level, knows it.

Ummmm.... you are under the assumption that I am either not aware of my own personal opinion or you do not allow me to have my own personal opionion. Take your pick.

Beauty is in the eyes and the smile of a person, windows to the soul. It's in the way they reach out and think about others. Acts of kindness are beautiful and people who are kind are attractive to me.

And, they say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. So, you believe that beauty is thin so as long as your thin you believe your beautiful and everyone else will think that way too. Because you believe it. And yet, when the gentlelady & thedeafmusician assured you that you ARE beautiful you said you were not.

So help me out here cause now I'm confused. Your thin, right? So that means, according to your own standards of beauty, that your beautiful!? right? How can you believe thin is beauty, be thin, and not believe your beautiful?

Is it possible that the Doctors who came up with the BMI thing.. and not just fat doctors but thin ones too... that maybe they know exactly what a healthy weight is? And they do provide a pretty good range. 5'6 is a normal healthy weight anywhere from 118 to 151 lbs! LOL! So they may not know you personally when they built that BMI calculator but they have taken into consideration a LOT of variables with a range like that. LOL!

Because, it sounds to me like you don't have a specific weight in mind. It sounds to me like you will always need to be 1-5 lbs less then you are at present to reach your definition of thin. And if you always need to loose 1-5 lbs more then you will NEVER reach your goal of thin enough and you will never see yourself as beautiful? That sounds like a very difficult situation to be in and I am glad you found this forum.

It must be very difficult to always strive for a goal that keeps moving away. My therapist once said it's like trying to get to the horizon. Everytime you reach the crest of the next hill the horizon line is always further on. Every step you take the horizon line is always farther ahead. I could spend my life trying to reach the horizon and never get there. And, if I beleived my happiness and self esteem could only be achieved by reaching the horizon line, then I will be unhappy my whole life.

Do you have a specific weight in mind and that will be thin enough? If I wanted to be beautiful and I'm 5'6, how much should I weigh?


1. Are there any fat supermodels? No.
2. Do fat people get made fun of by pretty much everyone? Yes.
3. I am NOT thin
4. The BMI doesn't take everything into account.
5. 90lbs is my current goal weight
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