Hi, I'm 19, I'll be going into my second year of college now. My dad died 4 months ago and I really don't get along with the majority of my family. There's constant fighting. My mom doesn't want me 2 see my grandparents (long story) and my grandfather asked me to go blueberry picking with him, and I said yes. If I go I will be yelled at for a long time, if I don't go I will be given a hard time by my grandparents, and probably.... yelled at... But thats just one minor thing. I don't want to see certain family members ever again, and I mean like I don't even want to have a picture of these certain members. My mom says I'm bitter if I bring up my anger, but I'm just so enraged at the things that have been done, my mom's judgment I beleive is poor on this issue, mostly because shes trying to hurt my feelings. I think she has PTSD. Anyway I cannot come in and see my family (the ones I have no problem with) and and not see the family members I don't like. (some live together). Would it be worse of me to transfer to an away college and most likely never see or speak to these members I'm mad at, and thus not come home to see my family. Also my mom is giving me money from the life insurance check to pay for my tuition. Right now I can tell I can't stay here anymore, I can't take it anymore. But I have anxiety about seeing these "members" because they treat me like shit, and the memories of the "big" things they have done that were wrong are thought of the more I see them, and I get upset. How terrible would it be to never see my family again? I know if I stay where I'm at I will commit suicide within a year. It would take a lot of pressure off me to leave, and I'm just so mad, I didn't choose my family, I never wanted to be related to them. And for some of them I'm ashamed to be related to. I can't take this anymore. I have a lot of short-term pressures like the one I described with my grandparents that based upon how I act will turn into long-term abuse from these people. I just can't take it anymore, my days are filled with being yelled at, constant ignorant remarks, and sometimes complete and utter disrespect.