this is new O.o *triggerish?*

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by LiberMortum, Feb 3, 2007.

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  1. LiberMortum

    LiberMortum Active Member

    Hellos from the depths of my bathroom. Just wanted to let ya know, I dont know why, That I have been cutting for the past... Half an hour or more. Just went bananas.. And cut cut cut cut cut.. Just finished cleaning up the bathroom, not a smart move since I intend to go back and continue my little hobby.. The new thing is.. That I actually get turned out because of all the blood... o_O Been cutting since the past.. 9 years? I dont know. something like that. But never ever turned on.. o_O Sorry!
     
  2. LeaveMeAlone

    LeaveMeAlone Well-Known Member

    lol ish?????
     
  3. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    Riiiiiiiiiiiight.. :mellow:
     
  4. LiberMortum

    LiberMortum Active Member

    So.. Yesterday.. I finished cutting around... 3 hours after that post.. And tried to get some sleep, couldn't manage, my arm and thigh was stinging like a bitch, not that I mind tho. Soo.. I went back to cutting, cut all night and finished about half an hour ago.
     
  5. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    Are you proud of that or something? (Not trying to be offensive, just curious) Self harming that much can't be good. Infact, do you have any skin on your body that isn't cut?

    How are you doing now?
     
  6. LiberMortum

    LiberMortum Active Member

    I do have skin that's not cut. And no I am not proud, I might seem like it.. I'm just a little.. weird now.. I dont know.. I feel.. Messed up, not in pain or anything.. Just.. A mess
     
  7. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    Sorry :sad:

    I wouldn't suggest anybody self harms, which is kinda a contradiction as I view self injury as a normal, almost positive act. It has helped me more than anybody or anything. Whenever I'm down or lonely I always turn to cutting, and guess what? It actually helps me. It's like something to help me survive until I come up with a suicide attempt. I have a number of scars on my arms and I love looking at them, admiring them because I caused the pain, nobody else. It makes me feel invisible.

    Sorry for ranting in your thread. Er..
     
  8. LiberMortum

    LiberMortum Active Member

    It's allright. :D Finally someone actually answered to my post o_O
    Yeah. I do love looking at my scars, to me they are beautiful, but I am not proud of what I did. It's hard to explain. I just so often find myself stroking my scars and smiling to myself. They're like.. My children I wish I never had, but learned to love them. My friend told me to post here how I feel on a daily basis so I am trying to do so. It does help a little, but some days I just get so frustrated since I dont even know how I am doing.. So.. Today I didn't cut, yesteyday I did, just few cuts tho.

    I have an appointment to some person who helps young people to get back on track and just do regular "teen" stuff.. Going out for a coffee today, I dont know how's it gonna go and I am feeling anxious over it. I'm afraid I dont know what to say and just start ranting about me.. Bleh.

    But the positive thing about it is, that I go out. Didn't go out last week, went to the store and that's it. So I have an exuse to go to the store today, it's right next to the coffee place. Buy some kitty poopoosand and such.. And milk. I LOVE milk :D This is just getting too random again. Bleh I'll stop now and get dressed..
     
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