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This is not good...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Much afraid, Apr 7, 2013.

  1. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure I can do this ~ one of my many fears is the loss of others dear to me. I never considered, as I was so deep in my abyss, that my choices would matter to someone else. I'm not entirely convinced that it is true for me (others would care about my choice) but I do know that I will be most distressed if those I've grown to care about here, leave.

    We've all suffered as a result of others' choices and/or as a result of our own. We know how that feels. We can't live in isolation and we can't control what others choose to do. I'm not sure I can handle more loss. I've no right to ask but I know it will hurt very much and I don't know if I can handle the hurt and despair if others choose to go?

    This is not good. I don't know how to reconcile this. I'm now very sad at a possibility that may (or hopefully may not) occur...it goes against the idea of avoiding fortune telling (distorted thinking / CBT) but the reality is it could happen, my anxiety is rising and then I've got to deal with grief and loss that spiked my depression and brought me here. This is not good...this realization is definitely not good
  2. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Mine is only a partial response I'm afraid. Some members have only brief stays on this site. Not because they choose death but because satisfying the needs of instant gratification and high drama are not easy. Those posters go elsewhere. I hope that you will stay around and get the support you need for yourself.
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Well said. I wish I could speak words of comfort re what you have written. Except to say that as a community those who are still here will hold each other up. Even in times of fear, pain and loss. Was old pain/ grief/ fear triggered? If you want to talk about it pm me if you would like.
    :hug: for your very wonderful self
  4. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    Thank you Theodora and flowers. I guess I'm a little hyper emotional today. My mum's bday is coming up and we were very close. Guess her loss has been triggered and it's kind of throwing me back a few hundred steps...

    Think ill try to sleep a little and see if that helps at all. :hug:
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Sweetie, I am sorry :hug: of course you are having a hard time. I was thinking how good it might be to start a sf candle lighting group. So we can light candles in a caring safe loving group. I will go to the open area and light a candle for your mum and you. I will do that right now.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hope you continue to talk hun and reach out here I am sorry hun you are missing your mother hugs toyou