you know when you open you're mouth...and you're like...who the fuck is talking? who is this freak? I feel like my soul was implanted into a grotesque body with a frazzled, ravaged mind. I feel like I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time all of the time, and nothing ever ever ever feels right ever nothing ever feels joyful, or comfortable..or even tolerable aren't people supposed to feel purpose ..no matter how fleeting? I never do. aren't people supposed to feel comfortable in there own body...at least for one moment of their entire lives? I never have. I don't know what this is, I don't know what this is and I can't do this, I can't do it, I can't do it.... I'm not going to do it. If you love me for who I am, then you're fucking insane, because there's nothing here anymore, nothing here. and no one here ever cares enough to message me just like the rest of my life and no one here likes me just like the rest of my life and I say the most idiotic things just like the rest of my life if you knew the pain I feel, you wouldn't be alive right now. I don't know why I am. I wish I finished it the first time. don't tell me why life's ok, because life's never been good to me life has never offered me anything to cling to I am envious of heroin addicts, if I had money I'd shoot myself up until I died.