This is painful to say but

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Pioneer, Jun 2, 2011.

  1. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    I've never had a partner and I feel utterly pathetic. I just cannot connect with the opposite sex. I don't know what to say to women, how to not agitate them, or how to get their attention. I feel extremely depressed because of this and I can't go to my therapist anymore because I've used up my visits. I always feel weak and in pain whenever I see an attractive woman and I feel isolated and distant when I'm near them. I don't know how some other men do this so easily but I'm not one of them. I've always felt suicidal because of this feeling but now its worse because I'm off my meds. I don't know what to do, they have so much power over me that it makes me feel pathetic.:sigh:
  2. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I suggest you go into the buddies section and find some female forum members to talk to. You'll find out how to talk to them and how to not agitate them (though you won't get help for the attention part, I don't think) so that if you end up in a positive situation with a girl you'll not scare her off.
  3. ansdr

    ansdr Well-Known Member

    Talking to a girl you are attracted to can be hard. Infact long ago I used to get so nervous at times I felt like crying or fainting. But talking to girls doesn't have to be that hard. I'm no expert, but It's easier if you have a sense of humor, what your saying doesn't have to be extremely funny. When you talk to a girl just try to joke around a bit and keep things on a light note, like you would with a friend. You can always start by commenting on something she is doing. Maybe you can even playfully tease her, not in a rude insulting way. But I know humor is a good start to anything.

    Remember having a relationship with a girl isn't just physical stuff, it's not an unlimited supply of intimacy. Alot of the time you guys will just being doing activities together or having conversations. So you should make sure you search for the type of girl who's personality you like. For example I can't stand over aggressive girls, or girls who use too much ebonics. There are lots of mean girls out there, but you shouldn't let their opinion of you phase you. If they are that mean I don't think they are worth your time anyways. That might just be something you hear but time is very important.

    Rejection may hurt but no need to be depressed, and don't get too upset. Think about it, Every 2 seconds a guy probably gets turned down somewhere in the world. It's been a while since I talked to a girl. I got rejected lots and lots of times, in the worst possible ways that even put me in danger and almost got me in trouble. But i'm still ok, and right now it's in the past so it doesn't matter. But if you need anymore help feel free to message me. You can always message me situations where you might see a girl and I can give you some pointers one what you could say. :)
  4. xsomewhatdamagedx

    xsomewhatdamagedx Well-Known Member

    i dont think you're pathetic at all i kind of have the same problem but with guys. i have been rejected so many times by people who said they liked me and it feels like a huge kick in the teeth everytime they reject me and its extremely painful to have your hopes built up only to have someone make them all come crashing down.i have given up trying to find a guy who genuinely likes me but just because i have given up doesn't mean you should.
  5. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    I feel as if I should not even take interest in the prettiest girls I see. I no longer have any confidence in myself. I'm never their type. Its painful for me to see all these beautiful girls want only these thugs but wonder why they are left behind when they get pregnant. Its even more painful to watch them accept that reality as if its supposed to happen. I just want to give up on them.
  6. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Why does physical attractiveness matter so much?
  7. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    The girls that I am attracted to become the most beautiful.
  8. xsomewhatdamagedx

    xsomewhatdamagedx Well-Known Member

    well some girls are very stupid and they go for bad boys and look what always happens they get pregnant they get cheated on they get abused and they get walked out on being with bad boys or being attracted to them is a form of self destruction i would rather have a nice guy who isnt like that.
  9. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Physical attraction is an important part of a relationship, but only a small bit all the same.
    I know many ugly beautiful women and i also know many beautiful so called ugly ones too.................give me the latter anyday.
    Beauty comes from within, THATS what is attractive about a person.
    Otherwise a relationship is based purely on sex and trust me, it wont last and will be part of lifes learning....usually bloody painful.
    Remember, sex is easy..............its the bit that gets you to the bedroom door, thats the special bit.
    One other thought.............and its only my humble opinion.....................self-pity sure as hell isn't attractive at the best of times.............its how we portray ourselves to others.......THATS WHAT THEY SEE.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 5, 2011
  10. oxygenidia

    oxygenidia Well-Known Member

    I have been with a guy like this, but I don't think it was because I was stupid really. More because I was isolated and lonely and depressed and this guy happened to come on to me very strong. It's not like I had other guys to choose from, it's more like these are the guys who usually are the most confident and dares to come on to you.

    From a girls perspective; I'm shy, so the fact that this guy flirted with me so much helped a lot. I'm not good at making the first move. I have learned my lesson and wouldn't go for a guy like that again, but at that time I was really depressed and lonely and bla bla... it just happened. No need to think that all girls who are with bad guys are stupid, sometimes they're just as depressed and lonely as the next person and happen to get into an abusive relationship.
  11. blondeellen

    blondeellen Well-Known Member

    i dont think you can say a girl is stupid for going for a bad guy. plus as you have never been in the situation where you can leave a girl you dont know what you'd do
    but yeah just talk to more girls and you will get more used to them and found a nice girls
    and i know what its like being permanently single very depressing
  12. jasonkramer

    jasonkramer Well-Known Member

    if you really want a relationship that bad i suggest going to and if you go there make sure you only look in to stuff for relationship building or confidence building. anything on one night stands IMO is useless in the long run.

    aside from that try some online groups to get experience dealing with women. obviously you have us here but try actual in person groups. for instance i was in a World of Warcraft group on and the meetings actually had quite a few women. also chat rooms are better than forums since the conversation is a bit faster so slightly more realistic.

    so look in to or

    finally the only reason they have power over you is because you let them. women are just human beings with boobs. their is nothing special about them (sorry ladies). just treat them like the people they are and never place them on a pedestal or degrade them. both actions will generally make the women leave. and if they dont leave because of that then they are not likely to be high quality women.

    experience experience experience is the key to everything.