This is so confusing :(

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by A_pixie, Mar 4, 2008.

  1. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I apoloigize if people on here are getting fed up of me and my relationship problems but something new just cropped up :S

    In the past 3 months, I have split with my long-term boyfriend, dated a compulsive liar who well, told lies about me, had a stalker and gave up on men altogether. relationships? I did NOT want one ever again... now things just got a little more complicated...

    A really, really good friend of mine knew I was depressed and when I was down one day, he suggested we go shopping and said he'd get me an XBOX game to cheer me up (I made sure I paid or I'd feel dreadful) we went back to his (as usual, we're good mates) and played XBOX for a few hours. The game got competitive and resulted in a tickle fight (you can see where this is going...) I didn't expect it, but he ended up kissing me. I responded back but when the initial shock had gone I blurted out "time out!" then we both just sat there with dumb looks on our faces...it was very unexpected....

    We both finnished our long term relationships at the same time. I have ALWAYS hated his girlfriend and that's not because I was over-protective or probably...subconciously liked him or something...She was genuinly a real nasty piece of work. I'm still hurting over my ex, he's still hurting over his. He put it this way "If we ever were together, I wouldn't want it to be a rebound relationship because you're too amazing to risk letting out of my life"

    ...my head is spinning. I agreed and said it wasn't the right time although we would make the best couple (at least that's what our friends say) but he says he feels like he's made things awkward and wouldn't stop apologizing(this guy puts himself down a lot and over-analyses things). He said he wanted nothing more than to kiss me again but we'd make too good a couple to mess this up by having a rebound relationship.

    I'm glad we've both been mature and not rushed into this, and if we did get together, I'd be overjoyed, but right now ALL I want to concentrate on is making him feel happy around me and not awkward! He is the biggest worrier I have ever met. He is obessive compulsive and has to check the house a million times before he leave...could that be something to do with it? He keeps on telling me how he feels like he's messed up, is there anything I can do to reassure him that there's nothing wrong?

    I hope it's not something I've done though he swears it's not...

    Is there any way I can put his mind at ease I mean he's the best boyfriend in the world when he's with a girl, I've seen him, but neither of us are ready to be in a relationship yet and I guess I jus want to put his mind at ease!

    Sorry for hogging the board guys :S
     
  2. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Its beautifull that you have someone to trust... and kiss:(

    I wish that i would have friends like this:(

    Sorry for bothering, i wish you luck
     
  3. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    From the sounds of it he's the type that will always second guess himself no matter how much he's done the right thing. The only thing I would suggest is that you make sure he knows that you are not going to be going anywhere. I think there is a fear that although you both agree that right now isn't a good time for a relationship, that by not being in a relationship, you will go somewhere and he will lose you.


    I really have no clue what he is actually like or thinking but he sounds similar to my mind and everything I do I wonder if it was the right thing to do. When someone you care about suddenly stops communicating you instantly think, Oh God what did I do. So I suggest that you make it clear that your friendship will not be ending anytime soon, drop the occasional Hi in IM or email and leave the rest to him. You won't be able to change his worrying but showing that you can wait till it's the right time to be more than friends will most likely be the greatest comfort.

    I hope that everything works out for you because it sounds like you both deserve to have each other and be happy. Good luck
     
  4. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    Oh For God's Sake!!!!!

    He's known a girl about 4 days ONLINE, and may date her...WHAAAAT???!!!! Now he's planning to meet up with her. I know we weren't going out but I can't believe I let myself hope again!!! I'm kinda hurt :( This guy has made so many reckless decisions, no doubt about that, but I happen to know this girl has a reputation as an online stalker, she went after my friend who I liked before...and now she won't leave HIM alone!!!! I HATE HER!!!! SHE IS LIKE A PLAGUE THAT WON'T STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND!!!!!

    I am so fucking mad. I feel like tracking her down and punching her. I feel like knocking her damned lazy eye back into place. I feel like calling him right now and telling him what kind of a user she is but I'm trying to keep in control.

    I really thought this might work! Now a friendship may have been jeopardized with him, I really hope it hasn't...

    Why does this keep happening? I know men say women are confused but Oh my God, men are the most confused species I have ever come across! You have NO idea what you want, men!!!! Why can't you just tell us straight what's going on so I don't stay up late wondering if I'm going to end up going out with you or not!!!!!

    And how the Hell can you fall in love with someone you have never met in person you reckless dumbass?????!!!

    This is so stupid :(

    Am I an idiot or something???
     
  5. Earn

    Earn Well-Known Member

    sry i havent been on sf in while.hmm. maybe he wants a rebound and just picked the wrong girl.i think you could tell him about what she has done in the past and it wouldnt mess things up.i think if you got in their way of geting together it might mess things up with you and him later on but i dont know him so i dont know.

    im sorry i hope that everything works out with you and him.
     
  6. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    That's a good point Earn...I'm just going to have to remain calm I guess, he's a stubborn person, can't tell him anything :S