this is stuffed up

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by lozzie, Dec 25, 2011.

  1. lozzie

    lozzie Well-Known Member

    im on a rant and i dont care anymore, everyone is lying im upset hurt my head is telling me to go and i want to x ta
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Who is lying Lozzie? What are they telling you?
    Why are you upset?
     
  3. twing

    twing Active Member

    i am sorry you are in a bad place, we have all been there many times before. I am not going to say the old cliché of things will get better like they are going to magically change and your life will be brilliant for 5 years straight but i know what it is like to be in the situation you are in right now feeling like there is no hope left, and one thing is for certain that situation wont last forever

    i know it's hard but you can get through this, please hold on tell us what is troubling you..
     
  4. lozzie

    lozzie Well-Known Member

    im so angry- ive packed a small bag and picked out my outfit! im so out of here! :( nothing matters anymore its hurts so much

    ---------- Post added at 11:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:26 PM ----------

    its 10:30am and im waiting a long time till 3am! jumping on the next train to dyinnnggggggg. You cant put a band aid on hurt people keep thinking you can but you cant! im a stain all i do is get in the way of people! A STAIN

    ---------- Post added at 11:29 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:28 PM ----------

    thanks for your comments though! you shouldnt be wasting such nice things on a pathatic person like me!
     
  5. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    You are not pathetic Lozie, you are hurt. They are not wasted, I hope you read and accept them.
    Why do you think you are a stain?
     
  6. lozzie

    lozzie Well-Known Member

    because all i do is stain peoples lives! im a freaking living stain! I take everyone elses crap all the time and hold onto my own! ITS CRAP! its foul and yet im the one feelings lie this and nobody gives a rats arse! ive got it planned im just getting upset cause i dont know what to wear...
     
  7. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    You are a sponge, not a stain. Soaking up other's negativity, no-one helping you with yours.
    Which people make you feel like this?
     
  8. lozzie

    lozzie Well-Known Member

    my stupid family! they dont care! theyd rather me be absolutly freakin perfect all the bloody time! i admitted i had depressiona nd now they want me to be hospitialsed in case i do anything! or home cared like a freaking old lady! they didnt ever listen to me! They have no idea how much being raped by ur uncle has hurt over the years! Or how much a close friend took advanage of me last year to the point i wish i was shot! THEY DONT and they wont listen they just want a perfect daughter! i should have kept my friggen mouth shut :( and now Im so angry and im crying and i have been since 8:00pm! it hurts everyday! and everyday i wish it would go away but it wont!

    ---------- Post added at 11:47 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:46 PM ----------

    i didnt even proof read what i wrote so sorry for the yukness or spelling or what evs
     
  9. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Oh my goodness Lozzie that is a lot for you to cope with. I am sorry that they cannot accept what happened. No-one is perfect, I am sure that they are not. Perhaps they hope that your feelings will magically go away, because confronting the reality of what happened to you is too much for them. But you have to confront it. Have you had counselling?

    I hope you can use this board for an outlet for your feelings. Others here have had similar experiences and may be able to help.

    No need to apologise Lozzie, it was fine.
     
  10. lozzie

    lozzie Well-Known Member

    they always ask me stupid things like feel better yet? im like oh yeh... i just wait like 5mins and the memories and feelings MAGICALLY go away! ive had some counselling and was going to pursue it but now my family think they no best and would rather have me treated like an old lady! hense why i hate feeling this way and i wanna die! im ready and planned. Im giving the world what they want.
     
  11. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    The world does not want this Lozzie I promise.
    Their words must make you feel bad but they do not understand, but people here do and they want to help.
    Emotions do not just go away, you need to keep up with counselling. Do you need their permission, or are they paying?

    I would very much encourage you to post in the abuse forum on this site, let folk with experience of such things help you.
     
  12. lozzie

    lozzie Well-Known Member

    alright...
     
  13. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    But keep talking here as well if you want to, or PM or whatever.

    I hope it helps you to talk, somewhere you can be completely open without fear.
     
  14. lozzie

    lozzie Well-Known Member

    i guess so :(
     
  15. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    When your parents make you angry, can you write down how you feel in a journal or something?