Posted here and there, trying to get support or help or give advice. I don't talk to anyone here or in life about how I really feel and how serious I am. I was just hospitalized in May and many times between then and 2004. I don't wanna go back and forth in my mind anymore. I want to make a decision and follow through. That'll make doing it worth it to me. I've finally followed through with something I've always wanted to complete. If you think life is possible for you at some point, don't don't do it. But when you realize it's just not, make sure it works the first time. The mental wards are just frustration chambers. Peace.