I'm using my brothers account on here. He gets on here once in a while. I am coder90t aka tim's brother, Ryan. I am 11 years old. I might be young, but I feel like the world could just explode on me right here, right now. When I was 7, a guy raped me. Last year, 2 guys molested me, and this year, another guy molested me. Yes, they are all in jail now, but when your eleven years old and you know almost everything about life as it already is, you actully see how fucked up life really is. 2 abusive drunkass parents going to work, then come home to they're room to get drunk and watch Seinfeld. And then your friends find out about your life, and they think you were abused by a guy, then you must be a ******. I tell them to define ******, they said guys loving other guys. I'm not gay, but I have feelings for those people, and these people at my school just hate everything and everyone that walks. So, when I was about 10, I started cutting. Yes, I used the sharpest razorblade I could find. It was a addiction. I still do it. I remember a while back when my brother was going to kill himself. He found mom and dad's locked up gun, and was going to shoot himself. I helped him out by hiding it in my room. Today I have the gun laying under my pillow. This is how it will end. Everyone and everything abuses me. All I have to do is look at it, and it has the attention to hurt me in ways, that shouldn't be done. Unless you think you can help me, please do. But right now, I really have the urge to kill myself.