This is the end

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by coder90t, Dec 26, 2007.

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  1. coder90t

    coder90t Active Member

    I'm using my brothers account on here. He gets on here once in a while. I am coder90t aka tim's brother, Ryan. I am 11 years old. I might be young, but I feel like the world could just explode on me right here, right now. When I was 7, a guy raped me. Last year, 2 guys molested me, and this year, another guy molested me. Yes, they are all in jail now, but when your eleven years old and you know almost everything about life as it already is, you actully see how fucked up life really is.
    2 abusive drunkass parents going to work, then come home to they're room to get drunk and watch Seinfeld. And then your friends find out about your life, and they think you were abused by a guy, then you must be a ******. I tell them to define ******, they said guys loving other guys. I'm not gay, but I have feelings for those people, and these people at my school just hate everything and everyone that walks.
    So, when I was about 10, I started cutting. Yes, I used the sharpest razorblade I could find. It was a addiction. I still do it. I remember a while back when my brother was going to kill himself. He found mom and dad's locked up gun, and was going to shoot himself. I helped him out by hiding it in my room. Today I have the gun laying under my pillow. This is how it will end. Everyone and everything abuses me. All I have to do is look at it, and it has the attention to hurt me in ways, that shouldn't be done.
    Unless you think you can help me, please do. But right now, I really have the urge to kill myself.
  2. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    Hi Ryan, I am here reading you and the urgency of your request for help.

    Please, answer me if you are still online. We both can talk bout it all Ryan, just tell me you are here NOW ok?
  3. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    Ryan, we can talk directly in chat room instead of writing messages on the forum if you like, why not meet and talk it through?

    Come in the chat room, somthing can and will be done to help you out somehow. Just tell me you are here and reading hunny

    granny :hug:
  4. coder90t

    coder90t Active Member

    I have been trying to cope the last couple days. Today, I am ready to kill myself. Goodbye guys.
  5. Sorrow

    Sorrow Well-Known Member

    Ryan please stay and talk to us. We want to help and we do care. Please let us know you are ok.
  6. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Please Ryan, don't hurt yourself. People can and DO move beyond being abused. I'm sorry your "friends" feel the need to put nasty labels on you and that you have problems at home, but please talk to someone about it, even your parents. There are many people here who would love to help you through this.
  7. srnityblu

    srnityblu Well-Known Member

    hello, this is alot for one person to take in and deal with. I am so so very moved by what you have just opened up to us and shared. I want to thank you for having the courage to do so.

    You are not alone. There are many people who don't know you but love and care for you. My daughter is seven, and I can't imagine, but then again, I was abused by my drunken mother's boyfriend at the age of five. I was locked in a room for days with no way out. I had to go to the bathroom, in there, I had just a jar of peanut butter for food. Gosh It's no wonder why I struggled in school... but I am here... I was in a loveless foster home... but I made it... hun. please stay and talk ... leave an email if you have to

    you matter and you can find happiness and joy and peace again, it just takes time... you had the strength to help someone, now let someone help you.

    thanks for reaching out. I really admire that. It takes great guts and strength to endure what you did and some how are making it through the days...

    If you read this... please make a promise to me that you will leave a message tomorrow and say hi, let us know you are still here....

    your friend, shannon
  8. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    hey hun i'm sorry for what ur going through and those so called friends are not ur friends please dont do anything i'm here if you wanna talk hun :hug:
  9. coder90t

    coder90t Active Member

    I'm still allive unfortanutly. I am still trying to help myself, i just need someone to talk to. The only way to talk to me is my brothers AIM account, which is coder90t and just ask for ryan. Thanks. I'm trying to hold on.
  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hang in there Ryan. You can get through this. You did the right thing by sending your abusers to jail. Now you have to work on getting your life back together.
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