This is the worst feeling in the world

[pelosky]

The pressure I feel in life is horrible. The job I just started is the worst. I feel like I need to open up and vent out all of these emotions. I feel so alone. I hate this feeling. The only person that I feel for if I do something like this is my niece. I can't type no more.

 

[pelosky]

I have a wife who thinks that by telling me to stop talking about my wishes of a short life will make it all better. Mayber for her. I find refuge in my comic books and music. I have no friends and I feel uncomfortable around family and what little friends I do have. I feel horrible horrible horrible. I really wish something would happen to me cuz I know I'm too weak to try something against my self. I know that I will reach an exploding point if no one helps me. I hate tomorrows. They just mean to me another day of this bullshit all over again.

 

[non_existence]

sit still & observe your breathe. the natural breathing rhythm has no opinions, its a safe place to abide in.

I have a wife who thinks that by telling me to stop talking about my wishes of a short life will make it all better. Mayber for her. I find refuge in my comic books and music. I have no friends and I feel uncomfortable around family and what little friends I do have. I feel horrible horrible horrible. I really wish something would happen to me cuz I know I'm too weak to try something against my self. I know that I will reach an exploding point if no one helps me. I hate tomorrows. They just mean to me another day of this bullshit all over again.

 

[claycad]

I know a little how you feel. I have no friends, and am uncomfortable around my own family. I find refuge in things as well like art and music. I know how you feel about exploding. But don't think of yourself as weak. I use to think of myself as weak for not being able to commit suicide, but now I realize two things. The first being that I am in fact strong, because staying alive takes more strength then killing yourself ever could. Two, I don't really want to die. As much as I have said that in the past I don't want to kill myself...I just want to find a reason to live life. Sometimes I wonder if that isn't what life is all about, just trying to find a reason to live it.

Have you considered talking more to your wife about how you feel. And I don't mean talking to her about your wishes for a short life, but talk to her instead about some of the reasons you wish for a short life. If not her, maybe talking to a therapist would help. No harm in trying, when you wish for death, you really have nothing to lose by at least trying. Also, have you considered the thought that maybe it is clinical depression and/or social anxiety? Both of these problems can be fixed with medication and a little hope and help. Maybe you should talk to your doctor about some of your options. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[TheBLA]

I have no friends and I feel uncomfortable around family and what little friends I do have.

You say you have no friends but then say you have a few? :huh: