This is where it ends 4 me...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by My Names Gray, Jun 12, 2015.

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  1. My Names Gray

    My Names Gray Account Closed

    I Dont see the point of living anymore !!!?

    I was a child who loved life (always happy).
    But when i needed to go to high school everything changed.

    - From the first day i got bullied.
    - monts passed and no single friend.
    - Since i was 11 years old, my mother told me i was to loud,(she always yelled at me)
    - I was not loud i was jus't playing with friends.
    - My mother had depression, and told me if she ever divorced from dad. (''it will be my fault'')
    - My mother never, not even once told me that she loved me.
    - My father was too busy with work.
    - 4rth year of high school my mother divorced from my dad. (i still remember what she told me)
    - I quitted school and stayed at home (i got AD and Meds to sleep)

    In the end..

    I needed to grow up myself. (never had childhood)
    My mother who never loved me also left me (father who's never home)
    My childhood years where gone, and they never come back.
    I can't relive my childhood and hurted myself.
    On the outside people see a 19 year old.
    but on the inside i still am a 11 year old boy that wants to play outside with friends

    At this moment i don't feel emotions anymore
    people say suicide is a definitive solucion for a temporary problem.
    My problem can't be solved , the older i get the more it hurts.
    I can't let it go and i can't keep living with this feelings
    I hate how my body grows.
    Looking at other 11 years old (it hurts so much)

    im a child trapped in an adult body!
    I want the pain to stop .

    i don't see hope anymore Help...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Aww hun there is hope you will grow emotionally just slower that all and if you want to go out and play then do it ok go and enjoy yourself we all want to play even us old people
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