This is why I want to kill myself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by flame45, Apr 20, 2007.

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  1. flame45

    flame45 Member

    The reason that I want to kill myself, and always have, is becuase no one has ever wanted me. Not no one ever, but most people that I can think of. And things haven't improved over the last 20 years. I started in therapy because I had trouble making friends and meeting people when I was a kid, and I still do. I've tried changing all sorts of behaviors, joining social groups, doing all kinds of things, yet there is no solution to my problem. I even joined a support group to help me out. If people would just respond and fill that position, it would reallly help. I have a lot going for me, and I know that there are a lot of good things about me, but no one cares, no one wants to spend time with me. No one calls. No one responds. I just get ignored completely. This is not an unsolved problem that I can live with. Like they say in EA, learn to live with unsolved problems. Learn to live with staring at the walls? Learn to live with your birthday going unnoticed year after year? Learn to not be able to talk to someone when you break up with someone? Learn to sit home and cry day after day? No, that's not something I wll live with. In fact, I'd rather be dead. I can't see any medicine that will solve or psychology that will solve that. It's a crock when they say, being alone with a partner is ok, or being celibate is ok, or aloneness is ok. No, it's not. It's just something that they tell you because they don't know what else to say.
  2. crisis

    crisis Member

    U have no idea of how much I understand u! That's the point...
  3. Hey, so put some instant messenger details in your profile and maybe we'll have a chat or something :)
  4. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    I can kind of understand where you're coming from. It was my birthday last week and not a single person wished me a happy birthday. My dad emailed me several days later to say that he hadn't forgotten it, he just hadn't bothered sending me a card.

    Still I have to tell myself that's ok, and I have to tell myself that aloneness is ok and that celibacy is ok. In my better moods I like to believe that there's a lot more to life, I have to set myself personal goals, for me I'd like to think that I can develop and grow as a person, gain in knowledge and wisdom, and although I may not have much to offer people now, in 5 years time I'll be a different person.

    Of course there's other times I think that's a load of shit, I just get drunk and simply wish I didn't exist.

    I can only recommend that you try not to harbour negative attitudes, when you start feeling angry and bitter about other people and about yourself things only get worse. We can't control people, make them behave as we want them to, make them notice us and care about us. That's just the way life is, I can't blame them for that and I can't blame myself. I simply didn't get what I wanted, I have to accept that.

    We can only control our own thoughts and actions and a lot of yours are very positive. You see you have a lot going for you, you see good things in yourself. These are like seeds in our mind, water them and they will grow. The more they grow the more likely it is they will be noticed, but again maybe they won't be. There are so many things people don't notice, appreciate or care about. I include such things as art, music and nature. If I like a work of art and nobody else does then to me that work of art is still a wonderful thing that makes the world a better place. I like to see myself and other people in that way as well.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 20, 2007
  5. flame45

    flame45 Member

    Thanks zig, it's a point well taken, but it's been a long 20 years...:tongue:
  6. AlwaysRain

    AlwaysRain Active Member

    if i didn't announce every year that my birthday is coming soon no one would ever notice that too. It's not in humans nature to remember 10, 20, 50 birthdays. I remember just 5-6 of them, but those are people who I know my entire life.
    Don't get sad that people do not remember your birthday. Just tell them when it is and invite to your party, everyone will have fun.
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