The reason that I want to kill myself, and always have, is becuase no one has ever wanted me. Not no one ever, but most people that I can think of. And things haven't improved over the last 20 years. I started in therapy because I had trouble making friends and meeting people when I was a kid, and I still do. I've tried changing all sorts of behaviors, joining social groups, doing all kinds of things, yet there is no solution to my problem. I even joined a support group to help me out. If people would just respond and fill that position, it would reallly help. I have a lot going for me, and I know that there are a lot of good things about me, but no one cares, no one wants to spend time with me. No one calls. No one responds. I just get ignored completely. This is not an unsolved problem that I can live with. Like they say in EA, learn to live with unsolved problems. Learn to live with staring at the walls? Learn to live with your birthday going unnoticed year after year? Learn to not be able to talk to someone when you break up with someone? Learn to sit home and cry day after day? No, that's not something I wll live with. In fact, I'd rather be dead. I can't see any medicine that will solve or psychology that will solve that. It's a crock when they say, being alone with a partner is ok, or being celibate is ok, or aloneness is ok. No, it's not. It's just something that they tell you because they don't know what else to say.