I come from a very homophobic country and my family does not approve of my homosexuality. I have managed to move to US to study but I don't think I'll be able to land a job and stay there, which scares me to death. I have a partner who does not really care about me, but I have no doubts breaking up with him would make things even worse. I am socially awkward and anxious, and social contact has always been a nightmare. I have no friends in America. Despite my love for America, I feel that people just won't accept me. I am seeing a therapist but there is only so much she can do. I am taking anti-depressants and anxiety medication for almost two years and I use to be better but in the last couple of months I am in a mess despite the therapy. I spent my childhood surrounded by violence and death (we had a civil war in my country) and have lived my whole life in poverty. I lost my mother when I was 10. I grew up with a father who poured all his anger over us, day after day, for no reason. I have always been the best student but he kept humiliating me nevertheless. Now I feel that he hates me for being gay, or at least just does not love me. My life is loveless and has always been. Ever since my father began being so cold to me all I think is suicide. Please help me.