I don't want to be alive anymore, yet I have to keep going on just because it will hurt a few others to see me go. Sometimes I question whether that justifies it or not, and I find myself tempted to just go through with it anyway, feelings be damned. I mean, they will be dead as well within the next few decades and there will be no one left to mourn for me. I guess it doesn't really matter in the end what I decide to do, but I care too much about what others think. One of my biggest flaws is that I was never selfish enough.