This little worry is consuming my life

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Jay19, Mar 26, 2015.

  1. Jay19

    Jay19 Well-Known Member

    I started a new job and my whole days are spent consumed by the same worry. I can't drive as my anxiety gets too high behind the wheel. My worry is what my co-workers will think of me, 'why doesnt he drive' 'why do I have to give him a lift when we go out on site?' I know I can do the job, its just this driving thing is taking over my life with worry.
    Why do I care so much if they think bad of me, I hate being a burden on anyone, bothering them so this new job triggers me so much.
    I dont know how to not care about what they think of me. Its frustrating that my life is consumed with a worry that I know is not that big, its a small part of my job being taken out to do surveys so getting a lift is not going to happen often.

    If you guys were my co-workers what would you think of me in this situation?
  2. Vaughan

    Vaughan Well-Known Member

    Your co-workers will make decisions or form opinions based on what they know. If they don't know about your anxiety, then they'll likely assume something else. People don't like vacuums, they fill them up with stuff, even if they're wild guesses.

    I think the bigger question here is how you're addressing your anxiety. If you job requires you to drive, but your anxiety means you can't - then I'd say it's a matter of urgency that you get professional help to deal with the issue.

    In the mean time, I personally think being honest with your boss is the right thing to do. However, many people - maybe the vast majority of people - would disagree with that.

    If you tell your boss one of several things may happen. 1) You may be fired because you're deemed incapable of fulfilling all of your job tasks; 2) Your boss will understand and make allowances for your problem; 3) Your boss will reassign you to tasks that either don't require you going off-site, or on tasks that require multiple people to go onsite, so they other person can do the driving.

    What would I do? I would seek professional help ASAP. I'd get the medication or counseling I need. Once you are diagnosed, and a treatment plan is in place, then I'd tell my boss about the situation. In this case you could tell your boss that you have a problem, and you can tell them that you're getting treatment for it - essentially telling them there is light on the horizon. It's something bosses love - they don't want you to bring problems to them very often - but they welcome a problem with a solution.


    With this issue I think you'll get some very different responses, so I look forward to those. Good luck!
  3. Jay19

    Jay19 Well-Known Member

    Thank you for replying Vaughan, currently I am on Sertraline and Risperdal and seeing a counsellor for my various disorders (OCD, GAD) The medication helps but my anxiety is still through the roof at times.
    The worry I have is that i'm on meds and having therapy yet i'm still worrying about this even though to most it would be nothing to worry about. Im obsessed in pleasing people and them not thinking ill of me.
    When applying for the role they didnt mention I needed to drive, I even stated in the interview my story (that I mentioned in a previous post) that I was in a accident and therefore not ready to drive again.

    My boss mentioned me going out on site accompanying someone else shadowing them so to speak which isnt too bad but said eventually he would like for me to go out alone.
  4. Vaughan

    Vaughan Well-Known Member

    It's tough when they change the rules mid-stream. Anxiety is a problem for me too, I'm just trying new meds, so fingers crossed.

    It's good they know something of your personal circumstances. I suppose this will depend on whether you'll figure out how to control your anxiety in time for your bosses desire for you to go out alone.

    I wonder what your boss means by "eventually"? A week, a month, a year? Maybe it's time to ask, and to put some parameters in place.

    We all want to be loved/liked. That's not necessarily a bad thing. If you reach a point where you can't do something, then I think honesty is the best policy.
  5. Jay19

    Jay19 Well-Known Member

    Yeah thats the thing, what does he mean by 'eventually'? Im guessing months down the line. I'm afraid to ask as it is like i'm bringing up the subject again being a nuisance who has to be accomodated whith this personal problem he has.
    I know alot of other people would not care what others thought if them in this situation and not care that others have to accomodate them, I wish I could be like that.

    Hopefully the meds you are on work for you Vaughan.