So much for the positive thoughts of the last few days. It was just too good to be true. I'm invisible. Wherever I go. Everyone left with saying goodbye. Just like they do everytime. What's wrong with me? Am I that forgettable? I don't want to pitty myself. But hate is all I'm feeling right now. I've tried so hard. So, so hard. But trying isn't enough. I turned to therapy, years of therapy, I became more sociable, tried to meet new people...but I'm still the last one people remember. I spent half of my life trying for others. To make them feel better. To make them hope. When I couldn't find hope for myself. I wore a smile everyday. Faking, talking like everything's alright, pretending. Only to go back home and lock myself up in misery. The people I tried so hard for didn't realize a bit of what I gave for them. My best friend blamed me , called me a hypocrite, when all I did ever since we met was try and be her friend, even when she simply ignored me and preferred the company of other people who she had met just the other day. People don't appreaciate things anymore. I am not the best person in the world, I'm not conceited, in fact, I hate myself, but I cannot help but also hate their attidute. Do you know what it's like to feel like a bridge people cross to get to the other side? That's what I've been my whole life. I don't know. I'm just fed up with people. The world. Me. I don't think life has anything more to offer me than lonely evenings in my bed, pointlessly waiting for the phone to ring and trying to find reasons not to get to my well-planned ending. I'm tired. And it's best if I just sleep and never wake up.