This might be goodbye.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Untouchable, Nov 7, 2010.

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  1. Untouchable

    Untouchable Well-Known Member

    So much for the positive thoughts of the last few days. It was just too good to be true.

    I'm invisible. Wherever I go. Everyone left with saying goodbye. Just like they do everytime.

    What's wrong with me? Am I that forgettable?

    I don't want to pitty myself. But hate is all I'm feeling right now.

    I've tried so hard. So, so hard. But trying isn't enough.

    I turned to therapy, years of therapy, I became more sociable, tried to meet new people...but I'm still the last one people remember.

    I spent half of my life trying for others. To make them feel better. To make them hope. When I couldn't find hope for myself.

    I wore a smile everyday. Faking, talking like everything's alright, pretending. Only to go back home and lock myself up in misery.

    The people I tried so hard for didn't realize a bit of what I gave for them. My best friend blamed me , called me a hypocrite, when all I did ever since we met was try and be her friend, even when she simply ignored me and preferred the company of other people who she had met just the other day.

    People don't appreaciate things anymore. I am not the best person in the world, I'm not conceited, in fact, I hate myself, but I cannot help but also hate their attidute.

    Do you know what it's like to feel like a bridge people cross to get to the other side? That's what I've been my whole life.

    I don't know. I'm just fed up with people. The world. Me. I don't think life has anything more to offer me than lonely evenings in my bed, pointlessly waiting for the phone to ring and trying to find reasons not to get to my well-planned ending.

    I'm tired. And it's best if I just sleep and never wake up.
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I think that the world can seem really ugly (and there is indeed a lot of ugliness out there) when you are surrounded by ugliness. But there are also lots of good things and good people. It's just hard to believe that when you are surrounded by total crap.

    It's easy to meet people who are selfish or abusive. You have to dig a little harder sometimes to find people who are willing to give back as much as they get.

    Faking things is a big problem. No one can get to know the real you, love you for who you are, understand that you are in pain, or try to help if you fake. A lot of people might flee if they knew you were in pain, because lots of people are superficial. Still, no one who would really care would have a chance to help.

    I think that if you are quite and introverted, it's easy to be invisible and hard for people to remember you.

    Getting a dog might be good. They are friendly and loving. If you take them out for walks, it can make it easier to meet other people.

    Daily, gentle exercise can help you feel better.

    I recommend this book for depression

    "Curing Depression Naturally with Chinese Medicine".

    Are you taking anti-depressants? I've also heard good things about electro-convulsive therapy.

    You might also want to get your vitamin d and b12 levels checked.

    I don't know if this will help, but I hope so!

    here are some hugs!

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug::hug:
  3. BP#1

    BP#1 Well-Known Member

    Cognitive skills help allot while realizing the world isn't ugly, just some of the people living on it are. When depressed sometimes you have to force yourself to exercise, your rewarded afterwards..... l don't see it as goodbye as much as a hello.........
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