I am ashamed to share this information, but I want people to know my story. I'm a musician. I've had dreams of the things I could have created. I felt that I really could have made an impact on the world as a composer, performer and teacher. But now I just have no drive to do anything musical. This is because I have no drive to do anything really. Everything seems pointless. I have no passion in my music anymore, so what's the point. I just feel like I'm playing notes. I dreamed of bending genres, bridging that gap between classical and jazz music, to rock music and beyond. I wanted to open people's minds and spread a message of individuality. But I just can't do it now. Not to mention I'm fat, my head is always in the clouds so I do stupid shit all the time, I'm single because I don't know what I want in a relationship, and I just feel that I have let everyone down. I'm also a martial artist, and I just can't shake the Samurai code or something. To them, shame and failure is worse than death. I feel that I have failed at everything I've every tried, and I've always had a gut feeling I would die at 21 years old. I always knew I would die at my hand, and wanted to since I was in 3rd grade. I just can't help but feel helpless. I want everyone to love each other, achieve what you are meant to achieve, and fight off those who get in your way. Never give up, there is always hope everyone. Some people are just meant to die, like God's little science experiment. You are not one of those people. I am. This is my destiny.