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This might sound silly, but...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Shamrock, Mar 20, 2010.

  1. Shamrock

    Shamrock New Member

    My scenario is probably so pathetic to all of you, but to me it's what has made me make my decision regarding suicide.

    I was a very overweight and lonely teenager, until I turned 17 when I lost alot of weight and started going out.

    A friend of a female friend of mine texted me and I started texting her and we agreed to meet the following weekend, I'd never had a girlfriend before, and I was a virgin.

    Well we met, and she was beautiful, and I asked her out that night after we'd had such a great time, she said yes.

    We then spent 4 years together, we were each others first times sexually and love wise.

    I thought I was set, we'd planned out future out and she agreed to marry me on new years eve when I proposed properly.

    Afew days later, she left me for someone else, a guy friend who she works with who had been sniffing around her for ages.

    And well, she is basically with him now, and that's it for me and her.

    I'm now alone, having lost her who was and is everything to me. And sometimes I have good days, but I find myself dreaming of her multiple times a night telling me she still loves me, and wants me back. I dream of just holding her in my arms again.

    I don't have alot of friends, and I'm back to being a big guy and I'm just so lonely in the fact that I can't text her anymore about anything as she isn't commited to me.

    I also hate being alone, it took me so long to meet someone who wanted to be with me and loved me. I might not find anyone else who ever does and it hurts so much.

    It's just all to much, and all the time I sit here in my house, or my room, I think of her, everything around me reminds me of her. I can't do this without her.

    I'm trying so hard to be strong, but I can't do it.

    Sorry for boring you all.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No you have suffered a loss and are in pain I am sorry you are suffering so
    You have to try to move on get out meet new people join groups take new class that interest you to meet people. You found someone that cared so you know you can do that again You deserve to be with someone that has the same feelings for you that you can share you life totally with stay strong okay lots of people here understand You do not sound silly at all
  3. Shamrock

    Shamrock New Member

    I torture myself in the day with 'what ifs' and thinking if I could of said or done something differently, and sleep is supposed to be time for me to relax, but I wake up having had multiple dreams of her, and I have to go through the whole breaking up thing everytime I wake up and realise she didn't really just tell me she loves me, and she's with her new guy and I'm all alone.
  4. CAD

    CAD Well-Known Member

    Aww, hang in there mate. I've got it on good authority that time is a great healer.