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This must be hell

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ub3, Jun 1, 2013.

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  1. ub3

    ub3 Banned Member

    My existence has become unbearable but im so head strong i just seem to keep going...I live in utter squalor and cant seem to clean anything even myself....I ust to be a heavy drinker and would get into mind boggoling situations eventually i landed on my own sword lost my house over night and ended up homeless...I had more will to live than i do now my condition seems to be steadily getting worse as i get older my teeth have nearly fallen out due to drugs and drink and are a constant reminder of my demise and total ruin...My family dont want to know me...my friends that i did have dissowned me...Ive obviously got mental issues i even ended up a full blown heroin addict...currently i am on prescribed opiates for the third time this has been truly soul crushing being a slave to a pain killer terrified to stop and desperate at the same time...I was never quite right i always squandered my money talents connections friends just have a destructive core that has created so much deep deep suffering...My constant yearning is to somehow find the courage to end it and do the world a favour but it seems i am rather spineless and fear the violence that i am surrounded by..Ive developed a poker face but latley i have nothing to hide i wish my secrets are the main thing that has brought about my ruin...I find it excruciating being in my own skin...I wish i could make it ok again
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Ub and welcome...your post seems very insightful, and I am wondering if you ever sought counseling...you sound like you would like to put the past behind you, but maybe, you need help doing so...please continue posting and ask ppl here how they have accessed services, as I am in the US and our system is rather different
  3. ub3

    ub3 Banned Member

    wow thankyou for your post but its very dishartening that i have only had one reply....THAT SAYS ALOT people really dont care ...and just ignore my suffering
  4. ub3

    ub3 Banned Member

    people are so unkind its not fair ive been banned from chat just because i said id taken some tablets f u c k this is supposed to be a suicide forum and i cant say im suicidal? s h i t man thats so unfair thankyou for rejecting me that really helps alot thanks for the lack of suppport guys and gals
  5. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    ub3 your previous performance in chat probably triggered other people towards your own countdown to end the other days.. ingesting drugs, overdosing,, talking doing murder and etc was all not allowed in our chatrooms. we could not allow that to continue in the chatrooms... at least now you have your voice in the forums... some staff tried messaging you after your overdose to see how you were doing??? probably without a reply from you..

    behave the rules in the forums so you do not lose those also. some good behavior there may cause to think about giving you chat access back sometime in the future.. up to you ub3!!!!
  6. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I don't know about others for a degree of certainty, but I know I can't access the forum/chat all the time. Following on from that, when it comes to forum posts, not everyone will check every single post that's made every time, not everyone is in a frame of mind that they can handle it, and there is a chance others may not know quite what to say as well.

    As it has been pointed out by jimk - there are rules in place that are there for the safety aspect of users. While this is a place where people can share suicidal thoughts and feelings, it is a peer to peer pro-life site, aimed at encouraging others to live. If you read the rules - it is clearly written that you do not promote harm, and methods of any variety are, in the 'chat rules' part, a 12 point infraction - immediately a one month chat ban (according to what is there at this moment in time - as they are referred to as encouraging suicide.)

    Going into the opening post - being a heavy drinker and going down the route of illegal drug usage, is likely to cause others concern, and if you don't really develop some degree of self-discipline, the outcome is fairly common, being disowned by former friends, or family not wanting to know you. While I appreciate the severity of the situation you find yourself in, due to my own personal opinion on it (that you put the alcohol/drugs in your system), I would be inclined to say that you are responsible for your actions that have since played a part in bringing about the situation you now find yourself in.

    Teeth falling out, happens at most twice in a lifetime. There is another path - and that is dentures. I have personally lived without teeth for over 3 years, there is nothing wrong with having them all out if they are causing you an issue.

    Support comes in many ways. You may not always hear what you want to hear. And everyone is different.

    Additional edit: It would be wise to seek counselling - and I don't mean to be offensive or "get at you" for your issues. No-one is more important, or less important, than another - we are all human. But we all act/react as well as experience things.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 14, 2013
  7. ub3

    ub3 Banned Member

  8. ub3

    ub3 Banned Member

    your not a nice person
  9. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    he is a very nice and bit of smart person also.. suggestion you get some professional help sounds real good.. good luck and best wishes ub3..

    this thread is now closed!!!
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