This pain is forever

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Hoth, May 9, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Hoth

    Hoth Active Member

    Are you miserable? If you are, ask yourself what would heal your pain and suffering? For me, the pain won't ever heal and it certainly won't ever be replace. There is no greater loss in this life then the loss of someone you love. There is no greater pain then not knowing what could have been. There is not a single day in my life that I don't think of her. Life doesn't make any sense without her in my life. Many would disagree that being dumped or rejected is the most painful thing when it come to love, but I disagree. The most painful thing when it come to love is not taking that risk and live the rest of your life knowing what could have been. The regrets eat you up inside and it prevent you from starting over. If you ever been dump, well it hurt but you will overcome it and move on, but when someone want you and you couldn't tell her how you truly feel about her, how can you move on? Move on from what? How can I find the next person when the current person still want me? Most of you are probably never been in this situation and that for most breakup is the hardest thing about love, well don't take that breakup or rejection for granted because nothing hurt more than not knowing.

    I want permission to move on, but I have no strength left in me. Everyday is a struggle to continue to keep on living. I'm haunted by my mistakes, and everything that is beautiful become dark.

    I'm young but I am carrying a burden, one that will never leave me. My heart will never be fill, it will always be empty no matter what good may come in my future. What am I suppose to do, I just need a sign because I can't forgive myself. For everything I been through, this is one pain that is forever.
  2. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I can understand what you are saying. However - to get through this - you have to help yourself. No-one should judge you for the situation and the regrets of not taking the risk, but to pine over what could have been, you could be missing out on other potential opportunites that are potentially in front of you. It is your life and your choice, but I for one would suggest stop living in the past, look at the opportunities in the present, and learn to maybe take a risk or two in the future.

    No one knows for certain what happens in time that they are yet to live through, so there is no certainty in your defiance that pain won't heal or be replaced. You can change this, we can only advise.

    I've been dumped 5 times out of 7 and am currently single as I type this. But that doesn't stop me wanting to keep trying. If I let regrets eat me up every day I wouldn't be talking to my family who i've hurt (physically and emotionally - though many years ago), my friends who i've broken trust of (the most recent was 4.5 months ago), or have a job. And I'm pretty sure there are times I wish I could let them eat me up, but I find strength to go on because there is more to life than being wracked with shame or guilt or regrets.

    Mistakes are what make us human, learning from them help us grow.

    Hope this helps in some way.
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I lost my son. He took his own life at the age of 18. He was my best friend and my child. For me, the pain will never go away... But I fight every day and I am strong. You can go on. You will some day find someone. She goes on. For me, I can never ever have my child back. That is a great pain, but I go on.

    Fight to go on. Be strong.
  4. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I am sure that he would be proud of you for not giving in yourself. Even though that situation is not the best, it reminds me to be even more determined to regain contact with mine whom I haven't seen for little over 5 years.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.