I'm almost at my fucking breaking point. Can't leave the fucking house and nobody wants to come and see the fucking leper, boyfriend can't even bother to fucking text me "yes" or "no" on one of the few occasions I might actually have an opportunity to leave the house, so that fucking blows over. Fucking arguments and stress from my fucking car costing so god damn much money, everyone in my house fucking hating me, money being insanely tight, unemployment rates going up and up and up and me and the boyfriend without jobs, fuckers passing laws about how you can't abort your baby without going to jail, what the fuck is that shit. Brother getting fucking plastered and being a fucking idiot to boyfriend, poor Mom being stressed, HEY DID I MENTION CONSTANT PAIN YET? NO? THAT SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE BEEN FIRST. Seriously. I'm gonna fucking kill myself if this bullshit keeps going on because honestly, NOT EXISTING is better then this fucking alive-and-yet-totally-non-existent bullshit I'm fucking dealing with. Fucking CHRIST I'm tired of this shit. At some point someone's gonna say "HEY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE" and then what the fuck am I gonna do? And plus he's gonna be gone for half a fucking month, and my fucking surgeries are fucking ridiculous and I'm FUCKING TERRIFIED, shit I'd rather be dead then deaf in one year or some shit. GOD AND I HAVE TO KEEP IT ALL IN MY FUCKING MIND because if I tell someone how I feel, that adds to their fucking stress levels and I can't fucking do that. Fuck I can't even kill myself because that'd just add to everyone else's fucking stress levels too. Fuck my fucking life, I can't take this fucking shit anymore.