This secret I've had to keep for so long just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sum girl., Jul 17, 2013.

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  1. Sum girl.

    Sum girl. New Member

    I can't live with it anymore and I can't even get a single word out when I try and talk about it. I'm scared. I don't want things to just get worse. I don't know what to do anymore. It's not so much I want to die I just don't want to be here anymore. I just wish someone could help me but how can they when I can't help myself. I'm so frustrated I just want to scream :,(
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    You may be able to start learning to talk by telling us a little about yourself and your life- does not need to be anything dramatic and earthshaking - just something to start a conversation to get used to saying something and hearing from people .....
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You said it hun you do not want to die you want Help You can get it hun lst step is to just talk to someone you trust anyone ok teacher coucilor your doctor hun just let them know how sad you are You do not have to tell secret at first just talk and let them know you just need someone to listen hugs
  4. ok..... let me start by saying i am NOT a therapist / shrink / or whatever title you want. I am just a guy who can relate to what you are saying. I have recently been diagnosed as having BPD (borderline personality disorder). Google it for a good, thoughtful understanding of it. MAYBE this is you too.

    What I do know is - I feel like my life sux. Almost always does. Even when I am happy - it is short lived (can be seconds) or mostly fake (cuz I am supposed to act happy - so I play the stupid game). But all in all - I would rather live in fantacy. I would love to just run away and never come back. The romanticized idea that someone..... ANYONE would run with me. And we would just live our own lives. And not care about society. Or its rules. Or its judgements Or any of that crap sounds as close to heaven as I can find.....

    MAYBE this is you too. idk. Maybe I am just totally nuts.

    But my point is. You are not alone. And maybe you can get some help and at least you can be happy..... for real.
  5. JustKindaThere

    JustKindaThere Well-Known Member

    You sound like me, only I've kept a secret for years and driven myself completely crazy/fucked my health up doing so. I urge you to try talking with someone (anyone you trust) about whatever is troubling you. Don't go crazy!
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