This site makes one suicidal

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by RememberingMelissaForever, Feb 14, 2012.

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  1. How terrible that a site like this that is suppose to HELP people from being suicidal only increases suicidal feelings?

    How can a site like this allow offensive language in the chat room? Or even in the moods that you can choose?? How can a site like this allow talk of poisonous (fact!) alcohol in the chat room like it's perfectly okay? How can a site like this use *badday (with the term "bad day" in it!!) to mean that something is wrong and that someone is having a "BAD" day with an icon showing that it is raining and connecting the two, without any care at all for different peoples' opinions and feelings???

    I'm sorry, but I have to leave. It's completely obvious that if even a site pretending to help people feel better tells me, just like the world does, that I don't belong on this planet, then I don't belong on this planet. Period. What a joke of a website and of society. Complete waste of humankind.

    Goodbye all.
     
  2. Rainfall

    Rainfall Well-Known Member

    If you feel this website isn't working, try the Samaritans. I'm trying them right now, and it's starting to help.
     
  3. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    The site is not run by a company, its run by people who volunteer to monitor. They do their best and I think they do a great job.
    Alcohol is widely accepted, while some do not use it this site must reflect that most folk do drink.

    Nick if this site upsets you then leaving may be for the best but I hope you do not feel driven out in any way.
     
  4. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Nick, so sorry you feel this way about Suicide Forums.. this place is one of the only place where many ppl's can post their upmost desperation and thoughts to end it all.. other sites make these posts invisible to the population..we try as hard as we can to be pro life and try to prevent ending one's life..

    hope you find a safe place that helps you with the grieving process.. tc, Jim
     
  5. Baldr

    Baldr Moderator Staff Member Safety & Support

    this site hasn't increased my suicidalness at all, actually without it I'm sure I'd be dead by now
     
  6. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    I can see where you're coming from. Yes there are alot of things that can be taken to be "encouraging". But may I suggest that your perspective is unique compared to a general concensus. Alot of depression is related to oppression in some regard, be it from talking, or living the life people want to live. That's really general, but I'm trying to say that alot of people have trouble talking and expressing themselves because of the pains in their lives. This place is very, open, to a degree that is respectful on a somewhat general level. Alcohol is a major part of peoples lives, positively and negatively. It's like many things, it's not exactly about the substance, it's about how you use it in your life, and how it affects yourself and others. Being free to talk about it is very important, it allows people who do use it positively to talk with people who are enduring debiliating affects on their natural life, and gives them the opportunity to express how they feel, so they can start to look at it from a more understanding and actionable perspective. It's pro-active, even though the subject matter may include negative aspects, the aim is to give people the opportunity to be who they are, regardless of the pains in their life. Granted there are degrees to what can be expressed, which is in constant debate. But the main point is to allow people to freely express themselves. I'm sorry that some of the ways that people express themselves makes you feel down by being around it. I hope that you stay but if you don't I wish you the best of luck. It's not that bad here, this site is very very good tbh. It really helps people talk about what is bothering them. :)
    Best wishes xx
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 14, 2012
  7. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    I don't understand what he means about the badday and rain and connecting the two? Did that make sense to anyone?
     
  8. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    :badday: <--*badday

    I think he is getting specific with what a bad day is for someone and when they use a icon with "badday" in it(which shows a smiley being rained doown on) it's a bad(too specific) connection between someone having a bad day, and not taking other peoples opinons and feelings into considering when defining what a bad day is?
    I honestly am unsure, it's a smiley... it's not a accurate representation. You'd have to wait for him to reply to explain his reasoning for why it's offended him. Doesn't make much sense to me, sounds more like it was something that pissed him off because it didn't do his bad day justice? Or something.. Who knows, maybe he wants that smiley to be more generic like "smileyrainedon" or something, and leave definitive terms about people having bad days away from smilies? Idk.
     
  9. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    This site is great for suicidal people. The mods often go out of their way to make people feel welcome and to be honest I wouldn't even have thought that anyone would have enough energy to involve themselves in other people's problems as much as they do... especially when they often have their own.

    I don't think anyone should expect a website to be able to completely cure depression or prevent someone from committing suicide, but at the same time most people who come here are better off with it in their lives than they are without it.

    I've been to other sites that have been much worse about what they permit/don't permit-- and if someone is suicidal or depressed, then I don't think it's unreasonable to begrudge them a little foul language.
     
  10. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    I don't understand how a little bad language, a cute smiley and people talking about alcohol can make a person more suicidal.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 14, 2012
  11. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    How terrible that a site like this that is suppose to HELP people from being suicidal only increases suicidal feelings?

    How can a site like this allow offensive language in the chat room?

    -> Bad language happens everywhere in life. When people are emotional it is bound to happen. And the mods do their up most to monitor what is said, but they are only volunteers who have lives too, so are not around 24/7. Any unacceptable behaviour is always dealt with.

    Or even in the moods that you can choose??

    -> This is a very useful tool on the forum. It can let you tell other people how you feel, without using words. And I know talking can be hard. It can also be a signal to people so they know how to be around you.


    How can a site like this allow talk of poisonous (fact!) alcohol in the chat room like it's perfectly okay?

    -> It isn't a bad thing. It's depends on the context of the chat. Yeah, alcohol is bad, but it's not "bad" to talk about it. Just like sex is ok, however there are limits.

    How can a site like this use *badday (with the term "bad day" in it!!) to mean that something is wrong and that someone is having a "BAD" day with an icon showing that it is raining and connecting the two, without any care at all for different peoples' opinions and feelings???

    -> Omg.. you being serious?! If you want to get so picky, then I am sure you could find a fault with every website you visited.. It means nothing. I am sure a SMILEY won't affect most people -.-

    I'm sorry, but I have to leave. It's completely obvious that if even a site pretending to help people feel better tells me, just like the world does, that I don't belong on this planet, then I don't belong on this planet. Period. What a joke of a website and of society. Complete waste of humankind.

    Goodbye all.


    -> You really don't understand what this community is about or how it works. And it DOES help people feel better. It's a place to share your feelings with others who feel the same. You can connect and share stories, get advice, find friendship and know that people DO care for you. I am sorry you can not see that. Take care.
     
  12. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi Nick,

    Maybe this site isn't healthy for you right now, nor is it what you are looking for....if you are not feeling well, I agree it is possible that continuous exposure to discussions about sensitive topics could be harmful for your health.

    The truth is I have had issues in the past with a few emoticons and the freedom of expression here myself....but at the same time, words and emoticons are all we have to give each other moral support....unfortunately, conversation via the internet limits us....and to be able to open up about what troubles us, many of us need to directly address what is causing serious problems in our lives - topics like alcohol, our varying moods....and then sometimes, in such a way as to not offend anyone, people will swear to let off steam.

    Most importantly, thanks for writing to share your concerns and thoughts so openly with us....please take care of yourself, and I am truly sorry to hear about your discomfort and frustrations with this site.

    Sincerely,

    Alex
     
  13. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Every website will have its good and bad points. If this site isn't right for you, that's OK; but I hope you do come back, and that you don't go through with what you're planning. Here if you want to talk, my PM box is always open.
     
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    If you find this site isn't helping I will recommend another site that might help you and it has an active chat room. Recoveryourlife.com I'm not only saying this because I'm a mod here but this is the best site I've found for discussing suicidal thoughts, most sites don't allow it unfortunately.
     
  15. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Try not to feel discouraged when people aren't feeling well they say things don't really mean.Try to stay on here the mods and admins do an amazing job to care as much as they can for everyone and so does everyone else.
     
  16. sadguy33

    sadguy33 Banned Member

    I get what you are saying sometimes the mods get picky about certain things and let worse things slide but it isn't there fault they are doing the best they can. They just don't have time to analyze ever single thing and yeah there are some bad apples in this place but there are a lot of great people here like Wild Cherry and Inmemoryofyou and some others that are really nice people that go out of there way to help people
     
  17. I'm okay right now, but a question to all of you who replied - why did nearly all of you not even bother to recognize there was a problem, completely brushing it off like you don't care how another person feels? Why do you insist on keeping on doing what you always do even if it's wrong and makes someone want to kill themselves? I want to try to continue on this site, but I really don't know if I can. The replies to my post might have depressed me even more than the chat room because most of you just brushed me aside like what I feel doesn't matter. Sorry but I think something is completely wrong with that on a site like this, it's completely not what I expected from this place.
     
  18. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, I wasnt trying to make you feel worse. Maybe since I had trouble understanding what the problems are you could try explaining again, or give an idea as to what you would like that would make things feel better.

    I'm kinda curious as to who you're talking about when you say always done? idk, as much as I can imagine how you feel berated by people and places, alot of people that posted here if not all don't fit that. I only mention it because we're not a solution, but we're here to listen and offer advice if needed. We're all just people here, like yourself, just trying to do our best when we can. Some people here, just dont understand why certain things you mentioned earlier were making you feel so offended, but I can guarentee they'll listen to suggestions if you feel up to that.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 16, 2012
  19. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I've read and re-read your original post a few times. I think people might have missed the point that you were extremely upset - that the world, the site, everything was making you feel you should leave the whole planet. (I know that when I originally read your post, I really thought it was the site you wanted to leave, not the planet. I'm sorry for the mistake.)

    However, I didn't brush you off. I did try to reach you by PM and I asked for times of the discussion about alcohol in chat so that could be checked out. I said the icons (smileys) were probably standard issue. I also asked how I could help you.

    You PMd me and said I had completely misunderstood your thread. I sent you another PM saying that I wanted to understand, and I asked for clarification. I didn't hear back from you. :dunno: How can I help you today?
     
  20. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    I understand what you're saying. But this site is a very heavy site. It deals with very serious subject matter. but this is what also makes it good. It allows you to talk about those things, and to get advice from people in a similar position as yourself. There are somedays where I can't even go onto this site because I don't feel like I can help anyone, and I don't want to read about suicide and depression etc...

    Suicide, self harm, depression, addiction etc... come in infinite forms. It's different for each person, and the way they cope with it is different as well. That is something you have to account for on this site. But there aren't many other places where pretty much everyone on that site just gets it. If you were to bring up suicide on a regular, mainstream site, you would get soooooo much negativity, it would be ridiculous. But on this site, people have gone/going through what you're going through. People won't say crap about suicide because they know it's not how it's portrayed by everyone else.
     
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