It's so hard. It seems like a stupid, redundant thing to say but there it is. My therapist says that mostly all I can do is wait until we find the right combination/balance of medication and then we can work on everything else. (I don't have any contributing factors that we can find, just the whole chemical imbalance thing, but being depressed for so long has messed with me as it is) I just don't know that I can wait that long. I'm so lonely. I never had a ton of friends, but now I only have one, and even with her it feels like I'm not a friend I'm just someone who on occasion she can put up with talking to. I know that it's probably not true--that not everyone has such a pathetic, boring life as mine--and that I shouldn't begrudge her being happy, having friends, having an actual life but I can't help it. It hurts that I used to be able to talk to her and now I can barely get a response. I can't get out of my own head and I feel like it's crushing me.