this time it's going to get planned more carefully

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by frantic, Oct 9, 2012.

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  1. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    i don't see the point anymore. i don't fit in anywhere, i don't really ahve anyone to talk to. i have "friends", but no "FRIENDS", if you know what i mean. nobody ever talks to me. i get ignored everywhere. i'm lonely. but it's not just that. life simply sucks. always has.

    i was unwanted even before i was born. my mom never failed to let me know. all i was good for was to serve as a punching bag.

    it's enough.

    nothing ever gets better. nothing changes. there is no "silver lining".

    there is no way for me to get out of this in one piece.
  2. ACPhilosopher

    ACPhilosopher Active Member

    It's a sad fact of life that most people are intensely interested in themselves, but once you know this, you've got the key to forming new relationships. Simply take an interest in other people. Ask them questions and encourage them to talk about themselves. Then listen intently. After talking about themselves for awhile and believing that you are interested, they will think you are a great conversationalist and someone they want to spend time around. It's really very simple and you can easily make an entertaining game out of it.

    Just stay away from controversial topics like religion and politics, and don't say anything creepy that might make them think you're a stalker. And try to avoid openly disagreeing with anyone. It is counter-productive to start an argument.

    Also, if you are close to age 18 or if you're older, you might feel better if you started making concrete plans to get away from any family members who repeatedly hurt your feelings. Just because you're related to someone, even if it's your mother, that doesn't mean you have to accept bad treatment all the time. You deserve to be respected and cared about, and if there seems to be no hope of developing a loving relationship with your family, it's always possible to create a chosen family of people you can count on for support. It does take work, though.
  3. Black Sun

    Black Sun Active Member

    Dear Frantic,

    I too, don't have any real friends and suffered at the hands of my parents. I also felt, quite strongly on far to many occasions that there is no silver lining or if I did succeed at anything, I would just lose it. Many of us at this site suffer from hopelessness, sadness, depression, anxiety and a desire to escape our difficulties.

    There are ways to gradually move from where you are today to where you'd like to be in the future. It's not always easy, in fact it can be quite painful, but you become more free and feel less like a victim as you progress through the stages of recovery.

    Many of the resources you need are already inside you. If you think about it, I think you will find you know some steps you could take in improving your situation and circumstances. Most of us benifit greatly from a person who serves as a sort of mentor. A person who encourages us, does not condemn us, and does not ladle out advice to freely. This person can be safe place for us while we deal with the storms around us.

    It was not right for your Mom to make you feel unwanted and unloved. That is very cruel and selfish. Chances are, she may have grown up under similar circumstances, but I don't mean this to excuse hurtful behavior. She owes you an apology, and a new attitude. I don't know who used you as a punching bag, but whomever it is, is probably full of garbage and is just looking for safe place to dump it where the person can't fight back. It is also not fair that this person takes out their own personal frustrations with other people (boss, etc.), upon you. Once again, they owe you an apology and attitude change.

    The point is, they are wrong, and you need to stop believing they are right. They have gotten inside your head. This is a "boundary violation." They are crossing way over the line and until you can learn to forgive them, setting up boundaries will help. Don't agree with them, tell them they are wrong and you won't take any more unfair punishment or criticism. Why aren't they supporting you and encouraging like they should, like all true friends and family should? Learning to step away from the ugliness, brutality and madness is a really useful survival skill.

    Who do you know that can accept you as you are and support you? If there is no one, just keep looking anywhere you can think of, and you will find someone. A good counselor could really help. Maybe there is someone in a city or county mental heath center who can help put your shattered life back together gain. Just rememeber: "Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right!"

    Big hug!

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