I almost don't want to write this, only out of fear I dont explain myself with the right words. This time last year was the best day of my life. I just got home after several weeks of traveling through a several amazing foreign countries. I looked amazing and felt even better. My family was so supportive and all came over to see me and I was able to give them their gifts(although I fucked up, I wish I bought my mom more things, whole nother story about that so nvm). It was back when my family had money and noone was laid off yet. That 24 hours was the best I have had since. Shortly after that everything went downhill. Out of nowhere my close friend and I had this misunderstanding which lead to this confusing falling out that she still hates me about even though Im so confused about all of it. School has been nothing short of hell and the "perfect" job I thought I landed? Well I suck at it and almost everyone there looks down at me. I know it sounds paranoid but I feel like some new wrinkles developed on my face after being subjected to a very few specific co-workers making sure my shifts were a complete nightmare and embarassing and attacking me at the times I was least preparred to handle it or even see their nastiness coming. Oh and now my ex, the one who did his best to ruin my life, is working there now. Like I said before school was a relentless cycle of hell and as for friends and relationships, those have became just as fucked up(for example the confusing falling out with one of my best friends). This year was supposed to be the best, I was supposed to come home a new and improved person who would never fall into these problems ever again. I have hurt myself more this year and being sent to the hospital with police for a pshych eval was just cherry on top of this storm. It breaks my heart cause my mom keeps commenting on how Im never happy and its like even Im disapointing her with all this. I just dont know when things will/if they will get better. It hurts to think about how much difference a year can make, and how negative things have been for me, Im scared that it will only get worse and I will look back on this and consider my current hell, "good" by comparison. I will stop there since Ive written practically a novel, but theres deffinately more crazy that occured this year and it hurts. I am a ilttle better now that I got some fragments of it off my chest. Thank you if anyone read this and sorry it is really long and confusing.