Killing myself tommorow night. No point anymore. Career pressure. Failing, hard to get out, hard to change, failing again, cant do it I am lonely, i lost my last friend at Christmas, i have only have 1 or 2 people online who will talk to me I am ugly and weedy I'm a fussy eater, too fussy, fucked up fussy, but i dont want to change it, why cant the world change for me, i am sick of being laughed at and mocked even by my own family members i have no independence and cant get it media pressure driving me over the edge, must have friends, must go out, must have sex sat in a room for 2 years on the pc Have dreams, not sure if you can call them nightmares, but visions, i see people from the past or the present and in what i see they always have the things i above stated. Some dreams are triggered by what i see during the day. But its like when these things happen i am half awake.