Not literally, of coursse, but it's the trigger of the moment. Damn this thing hurts. Unfortunately I've been without any medical or dental care for two years now, I'm 51 and unemployed, and I can't help bitterly thinking I'd be getting better treatment in a mental hospital or prison. Government-run healthcare doesn't kick in until age 65, and I'm certainly not going to last that long even if I don't kill myself. My esophagus is considered pre-cancerous; back when I had medical care they were examining it every year with an expensive hospital procedure that took me all year to pay off. Last time I did *that* was three years ago. But this toothache is really making me crazy. Or crazier. Losing hope anyway. The tooth's not even loose, so I can't work on loosening it out or anything... I spent about half my adult life as a professional stage actor, and I'll certainly never be cast in anything again, amateur or pro, with a tooth missing right up front where it's obvious. I'm not horribly vain about my looks, but I've played lots of great leading roles, and it was the only thing that gave me purpose and/or stemmed the self-hate tide by letting me feel challenged and proud of myself for a while. The last two years have seen me getting increasingly suicidal again, at least as a near-constant fantasy obsession. It would be really pathetic if a toothache is what got me making plans. I'm willing to hear ideas, but I'm pretty sure there aren't any realistic options, so I guess I'm mostly just after hugs and compassion. And a chance to say: AAAARGH!!!!