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this void will never be filled

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loneralone

#1
woke too early this morning and there was no one there for me. there never is and there never will be no matter how much i want to believe it. i heard the cars rolling down the street in the dawn and i remembered everything. how far away my mind is to anyone. how distant i am to life. i can't ever change this no matter how hard i try. my mind will always be alone. all i ask for in this life is just one person. one person who understands me. just one is enough. it's too much to ask. nothing will ever change in this life. why was i put here. i don't belong here. i don't belong anywhere. im ready to go.
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#2
Being awake too early in the morning is always horrible, kind of puts the whole day out too.
Did you wake up anxious? because thats a sign of depression.
There's usually someone on line no matter what the time (cos of the time zone differences) perhaps asking for buddies would help get you past the difficult time you are having.
 

noplacetogo

Well-Known Member
#3
thank you devastated. i am loneralone and am now posting under my registered name. a while ago i posted the worst reply to myself and got erased. i was just trying again this time to give positive advice to myself, but it is next to impossible. it's ironic. and now i'm a freak.
thank you though devastated. i do have depression. it began seven years ago and i've only realized it was depression when i came to this forum. i do wake up anxious all the time and can't ever get back to bed. i never knew that was a symptom though. and i didnt realize that it might be worse than i thought. i want to talk to someone in my life about it, but the fear is paralyzing. i can't keep going on like this. i have to try.
 

Sorrow

Well-Known Member
#4
Sorry that you are hurting so much. I feel the same way as you. That I don't belong here either. If you need someone to talk to I'm here. Hope things get better for you.
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#5
Have u seen a doctor? there is treatment for depression, you don't have to sit and just suffer it.
If u tell your doc about the anxious mornings they will recognise it for a symptom of depression and be able to give you something for it.
Let me know how u get on.
 

noplacetogo

Well-Known Member
#6
I feel the same way as you. That I don't belong here either.
thank you sorrow. i wish i knew how to change this outlook, but it seems to be one of those things that may stay with us forever.

devastated,
Ive never spoken to a doctor about it. im refusing it for now because i think i am still in denial. i think sometimes that it's all in my head and i just need to stop feeling sorry for myself. and to be honest, i still believe that now. i guess i still want to hope that i don't have depression. i want to believe that my mind is still mine.
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#7
Hun, depression doesnt mean you're losing your mind, it just means you need some help to sort out either the chemical imbalance in your brain or the shit in your life.

Please go see a doc and at least try anti-depressants to start with.
 

smackh2o

SF Supporter
#8
please dont hurt yourself anymore, go to the doctor. i know im a hypocrit but you can live i know you can. sorry i keep foloowjg you around, i know you musnt want me to. please be ok
 
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