I met this girl named Alice 2 years ago and I had liked her, so one day i thought it would be a good idea to kiss her on the cheek but she claimed she was creeped out, so she got mad at me for a while. For a few months during my junior year i spent months trying to get her to forgive me, then she did. I went to another school and i missed her alot. Anyways a year later we ended up working at the same summer job, my feelings for her came back, i asked her for another chance but she said she didn't know me well enough and she was talking to someone. I'm guessing this was why she got mad after that time i kissed her on the cheek. After the summer job was over i waited a while and i decided to send her another message saying that i loved her. I just did it to get her attention but she didn't write back. I was hoping she would get mad at me for saying that and write back that she didn't know and why would i say that. Then i was going to tell her why. See my mom was very strict, she still is, and she never let me go out, never let me talk on the phone with a friend for too long. I didn't have any money or a car so i only got to see Alice for a few minutes before school. I kissed her that day because it thought it was my only way of getting to know her. I forgot to mention i bought her things, i was trying to connect with her. But she just see's it her way, she has a big family and i guess she was raised in the teen age, where everyone is out partying, and her parents let her do whatever, but my mom was strict and mean. I thought all of this was my fault but it wasn't. I just think that part of why i was the way i was, was because of her. I was trying to tell Alice this so maybe she would understand but she was so mad she didn't write back. (As of right now Alice still doesn't know about this) I guess my plan made her too mad. So i messaged her mother, and her brother, i thought that would really get her attention. I asked them very nicely for help and explained my situation but they didn't even write back. It's like everyone is always mad with me and it's not even my fault. I'm sorry i was isolated from people and may not say or do the appropraite things but i'm just trying my best. If Alice only knew about how strict my mother was maybe she would understand why i did the things i did and that it wasn't my fault. It's not like i could just go against my mother (i would be kicked out). If i snuck out she would probably call the cops on me. And i had no car to go anywhere. So no i have not made many friends. I tried to talk with her mother and her brother because if things did work out i thought it would be a good idea to try to connect with the family. Since i don't have any money the only place i would see Alice is probably if i was allowed to go to her house. And her Parents would have to be cool with me. I'm just trying little things to put something together but no one cares about me. And her mother is suppose to be all nice and religous and she didn't even care. And i thought these were family orienated people. Just for once, i just needed a little tiny bit of help. Was that too much to ask of them. To give me a little push since I had to spend my teen years stuck in a house all day. I'm not sure what to do. I probably won't do anything. I bet the whole family is over there getting mad at me and i did nothing wrong. And i told her brother this too and he didn't even help, knowing it wasn't my fault. I'm not suicidal but i'm very sad, angry and heartbroken. I'll probably try to find another girl. I'm just so mad Alice never got a chance to know the truth.