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This weekend

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sad Rabbit, Jul 26, 2009.

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  1. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    Sorry to bore people with my ramblings, but this weekend has been one of the absolute worst ever for me. I can't even bring myself to think back over the last 48 hours. Maybe one day I will explain some of the many events which is currently blighting my life - but not right now.

    My current thoughts are that if I needed yet further excuse to remove myself from this worthless existence I lead..I now have more than I can handle.

    But inverse to that, I have absolutely no reason not to do it. What little I have remaining in my life is being very slowly corroded away. Inch by inch.

    One bad thing...then another bad thing.....and another...

    I am now sooo close...

  2. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    :hug: i'm sorry you're feeling so low and things have not been good recently
    but they can get better :smile:
    please stick around and talk to us, maybe we can help :heart:
    triggs xx
  3. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    Lets just say this weekend was about two things. Work and married life (or lack of it).

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    i was at that same place last july. i thought i had no way out of my situation and i prepared myself to take 4 bottles of sleeping pills and get drunk as hell as well.
    the bottom line is, im still here, even after a 3rd attempt about a month ago.
    you simply have to start talking to ppl that can help you. i did. sure i attempted it again a month ago and had i had enough i wouldnt be here fright now.
    when you start talking to ppl, you will be suprised at the ideas that come around.
    i decided ... honestly ... for now i was going to make a postive go at it again.
    yes im tired of fighting, but for some reason, im just gonna ride it out and do what i can.

    there is no rhyme or reason the way things go in life. we have the option to either deal with it or end it all. which of course is against the law.

    i cant honestly tell you why i decided to give it another shot, instead of
    taking more pills. i do know that there are many posibilities that are out there for me. i am capable of things. i am capable of pulling my head out of my ass and making something out of nothing. ive done it before and i can do it again.

    dont let things take you all the way down. there has to be things that you like or enjoy. i look forward to the day i can get another cat, which i want badly. things arnt there yet, but they will be. its up to me.
    and its up to you. it may take some time, but its gunna be less time than the time i suffer and be miserable if i dont.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry to hear that your weekend was a terrible one. It is almost over and you did survive it. Don't give up now. Thank you for having the courage to post here and ask for support. We are here as much as we can be. :hug:
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Graham I'm sorry to hear that you're weekend has been so bad. When you are ready to talk you know you will have many ears ready to listen and help anyway we can from here. I'm not going to utter empty words or promises of better things and days. But you have made it through yet again. Who knows what help you may find when you want to share the details. But atleast you have people here that do care and we are here for you hun. Be strong.
  7. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    Thanks for all the replies, I do appreciate the comments and sentiments.

    To add another chapter in my life, there is a slight chance that things in my life may take a brighter outlook. The situation at work has changed a bit and there is an outside chance of attaining something which could possibly change my life for the better. There are no promises or anything, but there is a degree of hope.

    But there is a stronger chance this could all go in another direction and my life could be made more worthless than it is now.

    I apologise in advance for being deliberatly vauge, I find it difficult to talk openly about specifics.
  8. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    It seems I have yet again made that fatal mistake with my curse that is "hope". This oppertunity is going badly wrong, just as I feared and despite everything I did to prevent it.

    It seems that my lot in life just isn't going to change and my situation will forever remain as it is - such is the futility of life. Maybe I ought to know better than to try to hope for anything else, because it will get pulled away from me just when there is a chance I can lift this darkness away from me.

    Because of work, I cannot have a drink at the moment, but come friday, I will be going on a bender, because - lets face it - I have nothing else.
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi sad rabbit

    Im sorry you are feeling so low,perhaps talking about what happened over the weekend would help? :unsure: We might be able to suggest something that will help :)
    I hope you're feeling better now though x
  10. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    Thanks for that.

    The next chapter in this exciting saga is my wife phoning my doctor for me to see him next week. As I have not been taking the prozac he gave me, I don't want to go.

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