This will make you piss your pants laughing..

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Spikey, Oct 3, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Spikey

    Spikey Senior Member

    Apparently, I'm the only person who can UNDERCOOK TOAST.

    Now here's my joke:

    How to kill time in walmart when your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time...

    1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

    2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

    4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens.

    5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

    6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

    8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

    10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

    11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

    13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

    14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

    (And last but not least!)

    15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!!!"
  2. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I like 13 and 15 lol :laugh: :tongue: :rolleyes:

  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    loooooooooooooooooooooooooool my uncle would actually do them if he was bored lol
  4. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    Lol i love them =) me and mel will try them sometime =D
  5. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    made me smile :smile:
    Thanx I Needed it
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Laughed meself silly
  7. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    Thanks for making me smile! :biggrin:
  8. FoReVeR LoSt

    FoReVeR LoSt Well-Known Member

    hahaha that was awesome just what i needed :biggrin:
  9. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    omg me and one of my friends went to Target and started setting off all the toys once... hehe it was funny... next time we so should try one of those lol. Thanks for making me laugh. =)

  10. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hilarious:laugh: - only I'm afraid to do any of them for fear of being locked up as a comedy terrorist...:rolleyes:

  11. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Once me and my soon to be ex husband saw this huge display of these Elmo's and we couldn't resist, we pressed several, and they started suicide jumping! :eek:hmy: :rolleyes: :tongue:
  12. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    I've actually done 11, 12 and 14 :shy:
  13. AlopexAngel

    AlopexAngel Chat Buddy

    That is awesome Mal.
  14. AloneInTheDark

    AloneInTheDark Well-Known Member

    10, 14 and 15 were my favourites by far! :biggrin:
  15. haha, awesomeness! :biggrin:
    Im so gonna try some of these one day!
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.