This Will Show Them

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by brokenbellflower, Aug 26, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. brokenbellflower

    brokenbellflower New Member

    Everyone's a useless backstabber. Somehow we went from happily engaged to broken up to on a break and I can't get a straight answer anyway. They try to whisper about me in the other room, assuming that my hearing impairment gives them carte blanche to talk about me behind my back. Newsflash kids, I have lived a dangerous life and having my one working ear be able to pick up even the slightest whispers is how I didn't die by now. I hear what they say, I know what they think. Nobody cares that I'm still not over the miscarriage, or that I'm losing sleep because I've been forcibly moved into a *%^&ing basement, of which I am mortally terrified. And apparently my anxieties can just be "gotten over" by "growing up". I'm sorry, I'm pretty sure I grew up a long time ago, between the domestic servitude, raising my younger sibling, holding a job illegally in elementary and middle school, and the constant sexual assaults, abuse and being "leaned on" by people who should have known better have made quite the adult of me. And now, the person I trusted and loved above all others, the one who made my life so much better, has lost his mind and is just leaving me here with nothing but some "hope" for reconciliation and a lot of lies, gossip and confusion. Some think I shouldn't forgive him, some think I'm being weak. Sorry, but when you've been through hell and you finally find someone who looks past it all and then even they let you down, it gets old. Now I just think of all the ways I could do it. <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> I don't even know if I want to be helped. I don't want pity, I don't want false hope, I just want to fade to black, just like in the old days when I died inside and hid behind a stone face. Maybe this time the stone needs to be a gravestone.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun i am so sorry you have been hurt so greatly. I do hope and pray that whatever happened can be worked out. Try not to let others affect you okay don't listen to their gossip They are so not worth hurting yourself over.
    You are strong hun you are a fighter Don't lose that okay YOU keep fighting as you have always done hun Please hold on to that bit of hope he gave you
    Keep talking here okay vent rant do what you need to do to release the sadness we are listen and we really do care hun I care hugs:hugtackles::hugtackles:
     
  3. pbobble

    pbobble Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry to hear that you have have and are suffering so much, and its my sincerest hope that things improve in some way for you.

    To have survived what you have been through shows that you have some great inner strength you've drawn from, I hope that this is available for you in some way now.
    Things like anxieties and/or depression can't be just "gotten over" "snapped out of" or any such easy clich├ęs, if it was that simple none of us would be in this boat, I think people say these things because they have no personal experience. But I do think these problems can get better, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.

    Please keep talking people on here are nice.
     
  4. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    I hear you.. you've been through hell and are still going through it. Things are incredibly tough for you and it's understandable that you're feeling so low and desperate. But please do keep writing if it helps.. keep reaching out because you're not alone. Hope you are "ok". Jenny
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.