Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/clubs

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Right U R Ken

Well-Known Member
#41
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

... I dont have any self esteem problems tho. I end up drunk, in bed with some random person i just met and feel like crap for the rest of the week...
Were you being sarcasitc? Or do you not realize the connection those things?
 

Tomas

Well-Known Member
#44
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

I don't go out at all. Can't say i've ever liked those kinds of places.
 

Ptitz

Well-Known Member
#45
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

No offense but I used to do this EXACT same thing for years... I think it probably is.
no, i get the logic there, but i mean... im not exactly cut for a meaningful relationship anyway(apart from friends with benefits), on other hand i get super horny when im under influence. its like... what else am i supposed to do?

it says *those suffering from depression/low self esteem* while i dont suffer from low self esteem. its actually pretty high(based on things unrelated to the topic). im just very tired of it all.
 
#46
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

It's really a vicious cycle, well that's how it was for me anyway.
The depression was definitely there but not necessarily the low self esteem, regardless I was so drunk and high that any low self esteem I did have would've gone right out of the window, because isn't that what all of this stuff does? Lowers your inhibitions?
Everybody gets horny when they're drunk, but if acting on it makes you feel like crap for the rest of the week then why do it?

And what makes you think you aren't cut out for a meaningful relationship?
 

Ptitz

Well-Known Member
#47
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

It's really a vicious cycle, well that's how it was for me anyway.
The depression was definitely there but not necessarily the low self esteem, regardless I was so drunk and high that any low self esteem I did have would've gone right out of the window, because isn't that what all of this stuff does? Lowers your inhibitions?
Everybody gets horny when they're drunk, but if acting on it makes you feel like crap for the rest of the week then why do it?

And what makes you think you aren't cut out for a meaningful relationship?
yee, i had a break quite recently: i had to move back in with my mom for a few months while looking for a new place. and i spent that time in my bed watching nickelodeon all day. at least now that im back on my own, going to parties, im a bit more motivated to study and work so i wont end up watching nickelodeon from 6 pm till 8 am at my moms again.

i mean... all that stuff makes me feel empty and spent by the time its monday. but at least my head is clear 2 days a week. im sure there are healthier hobbies out there. like sports or whatever. im just pretty used to this way of life.

and ye, i had a girlfriend once, 4 years ago. and it was just waay too much drama for me. so since then even when i met someone i like it never went beyond having sex a few times and going to a few gigs or whatever. then they usually find a real boyfriend. if they didnt have one already. i just dont like getting too close to anyone, you see.
 

Sephaus

Well-Known Member
#48
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

I'll go out with my father for drinks every now and then but avoid all other contact with the other people there other than the bartender heh.
 

TWF

Well-Known Member
#49
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

I'm underage. Would I if I could? no. Will I ever? probably not.
 

Theseus

Well-Known Member
#50
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

We don't have a pub/clubbing culture where I'm from.
I have friends/acquaintances asking me to come along with them from time to time to some sort of social outings. But I rarely agree to.
That is mostly due to me thinking of the social outing in a sort of irrational way. I see it not as a get together of friends, but as an arrangement where someone is paying for your enjoyment, thereby putting you 'in debt' to them in some way. It really bothers me and then I feel like I need to reciprocate that (which I do, on my birthday etc.) by paying for a party of my own and inviting the same people as a means of 'paying them back' for the earlier party. This becomes much more difficult when the party is being thrown by someone much richer than me. So, I won't be able to pay back in kind since I am not as rich or can't afford to spend that much in reciprocation.
So, the richer/more spendthrift the other person is, the less likely I am to attend a social event organized by them.
This even seeps to little things where I wonder if I should accept someone's birthday gift to me (I've stopped accepting any for the sake of my sanity), or whether I should visit someone's home lest they invite me to a meal at their place (I haven't visited any of my 'friends' at their home since I was in 6th grade or so).
So, coming back to the original question, it would be very difficult for me to accompany someone to a pub or club unless we agree to split the expenses equally. And even if we did, I still have very poor social skills so it would be an effort to agree to go anyway.
 
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aoeu

Well-Known Member
#51
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

I've been to a pub once with friends. I had a panic attack and had to go home. None of those 'friends' ever spoke to me again.
 

Ptitz

Well-Known Member
#52
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

I see it not as a get together of friends, but as an arrangement where someone is paying for your enjoyment, thereby putting you 'in debt' to them in some way.
Wow. You are waaaaaaaaaaaay over-analyzing it. And rich kids parties are the best ones to crash. I mean... I dont get invited to those anymore after a few *incidents*, but if you are, just go for it, whatever.

Expenses have NOTHING to do with parties. You exchange your company for someone elses company. All the rest is just attributes. And social skills whatever. Like we have this guy and all he ever says(rarely) is awkward comments. But we still invite him everywhere cause he's cool. So ye, since you get invited somewhere by friends/acquaintances this means they just want to have you around.
 

Theseus

Well-Known Member
#53
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

Wow. You are waaaaaaaaaaaay over-analyzing it. And rich kids parties are the best ones to crash. I mean... I dont get invited to those anymore after a few *incidents*, but if you are, just go for it, whatever.

Expenses have NOTHING to do with parties. You exchange your company for someone elses company. All the rest is just attributes. And social skills whatever. Like we have this guy and all he ever says(rarely) is awkward comments. But we still invite him everywhere cause he's cool. So ye, since you get invited somewhere by friends/acquaintances this means they just want to have you around.
Yeah, I know it's a bit odd but I can't help it. It's just the way it works in my head.
For example, a lot of these friends/acquaintances are workmates. In the long run, it's actually beneficial for some to make 'friends' with you. Makes it easier to get you to do some extra work, ask you to spend some extra hours on a project. "Do it for a friend!" and all that. Which would be kind of awkward for them if it were a strictly professional relationship.
Just an example of how the whole thing escalates in my head. I realize it seems bizarre to most people, but ridiculously excessive cynicism comes naturally to me.
 

K-On

Well-Known Member
#54
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

I've had very little interest in thoses places over the last few years although i have been a few times and it was pretty crap and boring each time, practically never go out anyway and its been like that for the last 10 years ever since i finished school.
i've practically had no social life since finishing school.
 
#55
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

everytime i go out to such places for company events or something , i would just end up become a bag keeper....

couldn't even take any part on a conversation...
and dont have the guts to run away early, as it would look like i'm the freak who left early..sometimes i think i'd rather die than to encounter such thing like this
 

Cortez

Banned Member
#57
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

Almost never. Unless I'm seeing a band, but they're usually at venues anyways.
 

bluegrey

Antiquities Friend
#58
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

I like parks and preserves with friends, I am a wreck around many unfamiliar people as in a mall. I go to social gatherings but I can't shut my anxiety off.
 
#59
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

Hey

Just weighing in with my two cents.
I have liked women who were short and skinny as a rail. I have also liked 'bigger' women who were more than a foot taller.
Personality DOES shine through. I auctually prefer a woman with some curves- but I also don't care that much because everyone can have a very unique way of beign attractive. Many of the celebrities and people most men find attractive I simply don't.

When I went out to the bar and kissed that person (the poster will know what I am talking about) she wasen't by any means a skinny person, but I was attracted to her none the less.
 

lachrymose27

Well-Known Member
#60
Re: Those suffering from depression/low self esteem how often do you go out to bars/c

i'm not a bar person nor do i drink so i have no use for those places. i like karaoke though.. but with friends only

i've practically had no social life since finishing school.
i pretty much am the same way, didn't have much to begin with while in school, but at least i got to chat with classmates.
 
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