Thought last night was it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by IZ2INSANE, Dec 26, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

    IZ2INSANE Well-Known Member

    I am a very private personwith a private job. A lot of people loking toward me and I have been tired with life for way too long. Used to be into alcohol an drugs since before ny teens when I overdose. This kept on througn my 20, Self harming in severe forms sill to present,along with past stuff that manifests it self through PTSD. Have maintained sobriety over a decade with almost years clea/sober.The chemicals were my medication!!!! having eatingdisorder and PTSD issues every second of the day,
    Have really focused on the end.
    I see a therapist twice a week and am on some meds. I see Psych doc once a month. Prayer and meditaion dailiy-help others-show forgiveness-make ammends when needed -even recovery meeting!!!
    Eaveryone,...........I have tried--When not at work wondering is this it I go home and remain in bed.

    I can do this!!!!
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Iz...and yes, you can do are so brave and wise to get the support you need...we all have times when we hit the is the nature of depression, so know that we glad you decided to share with us and hope today is a better day...J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey with support from here as well you can hang on just hold out here for awhile until the cycle starts turning toward the upside again okay I too hope you have a better day today take care
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you made it - not just last night but every other occasion that you've felt like giving up also.

    Prayer helps if that's part of who you are - like you I abused alcohol and drugs with amphetamine the drug of choice. Looking back, its obvious now that it was a false confidence - a false economy.

    Try to think of your depression a bit like the weight that is put onto some horses to 'equal' them out in races. They call this a 'handicap' race.

    Sometimes I wonder if the horse might think its done something wrong just as we might think it also. Maybe people with depression needed to carry the handicap or else the 'race' or the path we take in life would be too easy? Just a thought, perhaps a silly one but I'm trying to turn a big negative into some kind of positive.

    Anyhow, my prayers for your good self and the people around you. Good wishes to anyone else who might not be inclined to find any hope with talk of prayer and God and so on. Forcing it on people who are vulnerable is like selling fake heroin to addicts. Immoral at the very least perhaps evil at its worse.

    Everyone needs something 'sacred' in their lives. This can take many forms. We all hope that we could become that person who seems happy and content despite the evils of the world. We'd all like to the person who has time for others because at that point our depression is limited and you have set up a series of checks and balances against the blues. You will still get them but if you can break the cycle of depression its possible that even some poor soul currently sitting on a ledge might have met you that day and maybe that kind word might save someone.

    This is how life works. Anyone feeling depressed due to an illness will be affected also by the casual cruelty and ignorance we see around us. When we meet people who genuinely care it lifts our spirits it makes a difference. Bear in mind every word, positive or negative that has ever been spoken to you, is inside somewhere. For this reason I try my best to try and be cheerful to any passing stranger because at some point, when those people might think the world is against them - maybe they'll remember the kind deed or word. Maybe they'll realise that there are some good people around.

    I hope at least people who are down will realise that.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.