thought my depression was gone

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by tkwu, May 12, 2010.

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  1. tkwu

    tkwu Active Member

    i thought that i had seasonal affective disorder but now it's springtime. i don't have a broken heart and no one near me has died or gone away. i just don't know why i feel so awful again!

    i literally cannot think of anything that will make me happy. i've been crying more (like i used to) and cut myself today. before, i used to think of people i missed, past experiences that i longed for, things that i regretted, etc. but today and the past week or two, there have been no specific thoughts in my mind at all. i've just felt miserable. it's not as bad as it used to be, at all. i used to cry so hard i couldn't go to class. i guess i'm worried that i'll go back to that.

    the past few days have made me lose hope, like maybe i really do have a permanent emotional problem that can only be fixed with meds, which is truly an upsetting thought (hated the side effects; lethargy, no appetite, no sex, just generally not myself as i'm sure many of you can understand).

    i guess it's possibly because i'm staying with my parents for the summer. maybe i have some unresolved issues with them that i never realized i had. but it doesn't seem like it. they're often irritating and we fight on occasion, but there's never been anything catastrophic. it seems more like a very internal problem.

    WHAT is wrong with me? has anyone had their depression come back for apparently no reason?
  2. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Bipolar disorder is common on this forum. Bipolar II is very difficult to differentiate from depression, except that it keeps coming back. Look into that, and try to figure out whether that's possibly the case.
  3. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    I can go as long as a couple of months without clinical depression but some trigger always sends me back into the hell again. I hope you are in therapy so you can try and narrow down what areas, what lines of thought or triggering memories are causing your relapses.

    Medication in my particular case never helped much in controlling my depression. It is regular, vigorous exercise but far more important...identifying my depression triggers through therapy.

    I hope you climb out of this pain soon! :console:
  4. tkwu

    tkwu Active Member

    thanks so much for your help. today i am feeling ok. i don't think that medication is right for me either, at least i don't want it to be. i can't really afford therapy unfortunately. at school i was able to see a shrink for free but all he did was tell me to take more medicine (i guess it makes sense that they don't have the time to give students counseling). i definitely think exercise helps me as well. and things like journaling, when i'm together enough to do it.

    aoeu, my sister has been treated for bipolar disorder but i have never heard of bipolar II until now. i never thought it was something i could have had because i never experienced the manic episodes that she did. but i do feel pretty drastic mood swings sometimes. i will have to read more about it and the treatment for it.

    thanks both of you :hug:
  5. fabiola7386

    fabiola7386 Member

    At times you feel that you are well and the very next you feel depressed, it happens...
    anyway its nice to hear that you are going good.
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