i thought that i had seasonal affective disorder but now it's springtime. i don't have a broken heart and no one near me has died or gone away. i just don't know why i feel so awful again! i literally cannot think of anything that will make me happy. i've been crying more (like i used to) and cut myself today. before, i used to think of people i missed, past experiences that i longed for, things that i regretted, etc. but today and the past week or two, there have been no specific thoughts in my mind at all. i've just felt miserable. it's not as bad as it used to be, at all. i used to cry so hard i couldn't go to class. i guess i'm worried that i'll go back to that. the past few days have made me lose hope, like maybe i really do have a permanent emotional problem that can only be fixed with meds, which is truly an upsetting thought (hated the side effects; lethargy, no appetite, no sex, just generally not myself as i'm sure many of you can understand). i guess it's possibly because i'm staying with my parents for the summer. maybe i have some unresolved issues with them that i never realized i had. but it doesn't seem like it. they're often irritating and we fight on occasion, but there's never been anything catastrophic. it seems more like a very internal problem. WHAT is wrong with me? has anyone had their depression come back for apparently no reason?