thought processes

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Feb 19, 2011.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Where to start ...

    Why not?
    Why?
    Is it an answer?
    Does the thought provide encouragement subconsciously?
    Do the thoughts provide a temporary reprieve?
    Are things so insurmountable?
    Isn't everyone replaceable?
    Would this punish those I'm angry at?
    Doesn't that ultimately mean I would also punish myself?
    What will life be like without my partner?
    Will I have the strength to carry on when I struggle so now?
    What will the point of life be?
    Where will I go, what will I do?
    How can I do this?
    Am I just day dreaming?
    Am I looking for attention?
    Who, really, would it affect?
    Do I have the ultimate courage to put words into action?
    Where am I meant to find this strength from that everyone keeps telling me about?
    Could these people live in my shoes , past and present?
    Why can't I forget what needs to be forgotten?
    With so much self loathing, why I am hesitant?
    Perhaps this is just another thing I am incapable of?
    What is talk without action?
    If my best friend could do it, why can't I or why haven't I?
    What are the alternatives?
    Will things ever change?
    Will my mind ever rest?
     
  2. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    or perhaps thats the problem

    too much thinking

    not enough action
     
  3. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    thats not the problem,the problem maybe too much thinking but its also too much going on,answer the questions you posted your self,and i bet the answers will change everyday dont take any action set aside some thinking time then just close your mind,scream shout blast music out and sing at the top of your voice find a way to release the thoughts
     
  4. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    or find a way to become numb to it all.

    i just cant deal, am so sorry.
     
  5. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    i know its hard especially with your partners illness but you need to be strong you need that extra therapy you need all the help you can get but most of all right now your partner needs you!
    please keep trying fight your thoughts and knockout your partners illness
     
  6. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    .....
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 20, 2011
  7. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    .....
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 20, 2011
  8. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    i wasnt having a go telling you she needs you,im sure youve heard that enough
    your not being weak having these thoughts especially if your partner wont take an active interest,your being strong for both of you its bad enough doing it for one right?

    is she taking no interest in fighting this disease that gotta be hard on you im sorry
    i can see why its pushing you to the edge
     
  9. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    thanks hollowvoice -

    its a good thing tears can't travel through computer screens!

    take care.
     
  10. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    well look at it this way ,at least you have a partner.
    thinking too much is bad and you need to do something active to take your mind off like a long walk
     
  11. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    yeah i really, like REALLY, miss being close to the sea..... good for walks, especially in stormy weather.... ahhhhhhh
     
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