Thoughts again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Jun 26, 2011.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I'm so sorry, I really am

    It must get old, it probably is already - all this muck spewing from me.

    I just feel so alone,

    completely overwhelmed,

    unloved,

    sad,

    and scared.

    Am getting myself wired out, I'm trying not to.

    Just anxious, very anxious.

    I don't want to go there, the thoughts are starting.

    I'm sorry, very sorry.
     
  2. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    why did you leave msn hon

    sorry your feeling bad go do your mowing get out in the air and get busy
     
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I apologize. Please take care.
     
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    don't go moanamcara..
    you've been so supportive.
    stay here with our 'family' and talk as much as you want
    we understand your pain
     
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thanks IV, been wondering how your day has been? Hope you are ok.
     
  6. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    don't know quite what to do, logically it'd be selfish and stupid etc. etc. etc.

    I think I need to stop typing so much here.

    I think I need to be quiet, saying so much worries me. Too open and too vulnerable.

    Gosh, I hate this.

    I hate these feelings.

    To admit things, not pleasant.
     
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Mo, Talk all you want!! Thats what this place is for..No one knows who you are so don't feel vulnerable.. Keep PMing me...I will listen!!
     
  8. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Why do you feel you shouldn't type here? :hug:
    It's likely a good thing to do. Talking and sharing is a risk, but this place is about as safe as it gets for doing so. I understand feeling vulnerable.

    **gentle calming hugs** Slow deep breaths.

    What is going on? Can you express what you are thinking and how you are feeling?

    Are you safe? I'm really concerned about you.
     
  9. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I need to do something.

    I don't want anyone here to think its anything to do with them. You all have been fabulous, caring and sometimes you make me cry with how much you give here.

    You all need to take good care of yourselves.

    I'm not exactely thinking straight, I know this, but it worries me too.

    I need not to drink tonight, nor do anything else.

    I need to be quiet, and I need to just wander back into the shadows.

    Yet in doing that I'm isolating which is not good.

    I'm a little scared.

    But this is enough. Again, my thanks to you all.
     
  10. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Well, you could do what i sometimes do (well, frequently do). If I am feeling terrible, I often will come here and engage with anyone...or everyone. It does help. It may be temporary, but it really does help. Far better than isolating. I tend to get into all sorts of trouble when i isolate. No checks or balances...just me with my own thoughts. Think I'd rather see you hang out here **gentle hug**

    If you are scared, I'm concerned about your safety. **hug**

    Also, being scared alone is not good...better to be here.

    Can you say what is scaring you?

    **hugs**
     
  11. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I can't stay.

    I'm worried about doing something amongst some other things.

    But it'll all be ok in the end.

    I'm too overwhelmed.

    Okay, got to go, thanks again all. Please take good care of yourselves and thanks for everything.
     
  12. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Awww **gentle hugs**

    How are you holding up today?
     
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