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thoughts and plans.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by slim_to_none, May 5, 2007.

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  1. slim_to_none

    slim_to_none Well-Known Member

    i know i hardly ever am on this forum.
    im active elsewhere on the net.
    but no know there knows what is actually going on.

    to cut a long story shut.
    im in IP again.
    but this time, my new doctor has set a 7 day limit on me staying here.
    normally my admissions are about a month.
    and im still not great after them.
    7 days is going to be pointless.

    (i know i know. make the most of the time. etc. heard it already a million times).

    and yeah. i did have plans before i voluntarily came in here. (i was under the impresion if i went voluntarily that i would not be sent to a public ward.). which is the only reason i agreed to this.

    now he's turned his back on me.
    i have 7 days (well, now 5), to be "fixed" and if im not. he's sending me to a public ward.

    im terrified.

    and though im restricted to the hospital, its not hard to get out.
    i keep walking to the main road outside the hospital, looking at the convience store. and wondering how much money i have (i wont say why because thats tipping).

    i want to do it.
    im going to wait for staff to check in the morning.
    then im out of here on a convience store hunt.

    ive planned everything for if i do actually die.
    im ready for it.
    and im sick of dumb nurses yelling at me telling me to change my attitude.
    because its that simple. someone yells at you and you're cured.
    ugh. i dont believe it.

    this is kind of pointless. i just dont know what to do.
    im stressed, upset, angry, frustrated, etc.
    should i try and get a second opinion doctor?
    but then, my doc is great.
    stupid f**king bpd diagnosis.
    thats why they're doing this.

    if i leave on thursday. i wont be here friday.
    or if i leave on sunday. i wont be here sunday.

    negative but true.
    my body is imploding anyone.

    im sorry to anyone who has put up with my babble.

    i need help. not my doctor saying "oh, in 7 days you'll be bouning off the walls with happiness', or the nurse i had this afternoon, ive already spoken to you (for 5 mins and walked off on me mid sentence) tell me that i was wasting peoples time.

    i dont even know why im typing.
    im freaking upset.
    i hate this.
    maybe i should listen to the nurse and go do something stupid.

    im just onfused, dazed, and upset.

    advice? stores? etc?
  2. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    Of course, you are upset.
    Of course, you are confused, pissed and fustrated.
    This forum is here for the hurting and for babbling, your pain and words are clear and not pointless. :sad:

    Your normal visit is 1 month. My last hospital was 3 months...are we "fixed"??
    Not likely. Cured? I think it is best to say can cope with it.

    Just remember, the mind (brain) is a very, very, very complex area to deal with. I think you are brave to go voluntarily to get help--the rules are always vague as to where you really will be getting care.

    Please feel free to send me a PM and I will write you back. I hope you will NOT go do anything stupid.
    Stay safe!!!!!!!!!!!!
  3. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Hey there, are you still with us? Let us know pls :hug:
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am wondering how you are doing slim_to_none. I hope the stay, short as it was, was able to help you enough to give you some relief. Let us know how things are. :hug:
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