Thoughts and Questions to myself and anyone who might want to answer

Palomahasdied · Jul 7, 2020

So I sad right now, witch prompts my brain to think (I am always kind of sad, but I repress my emotions, and I know it sounds dumb but I finished a show I had been watching for a long time today, and the saddnes for the end of the show just kind of opened the door for the rest to come out). There are so many questions and complaits in my brain now I will list them below:

I am so tired of always having to wait at least 1/2 an hour for an answer for any kind
can I be happy alone?
I hate myself, i don´t think I will ever be capable of not hating myself
Why everything always feels so difficult to accomplish?
how can I fix myself?
What do I do with my fellings?
why do I even try? I always fail
I feel like I exist but don´t live
Do I want to live?
Does anyone know A movie/ series/book/ whatever, about a character that doesnt have friends and doesnt make friends but still end up happy even if alone?
I hate that I have noone to ask questions to
I am tired of ranting
Why am I sad about the show being over?
Why Am I so unmotivated?

Palomahasdied · Jul 7, 2020

So I sad right now, witch prompts my brain to think (I am always kind of sad, but I repress my emotions, and I know it sounds dumb but I finished a show I had been watching for a long time today, and the saddnes for the end of the show just kind of opened the door for the rest to come out). There are so many questions and complaits in my brain now I will list them below:

I am so tired of always having to wait at least 1/2 an hour for an answer for any kind
can I be happy alone?
I hate myself, i don´t think I will ever be capable of not hating myself
Why everything always feels so difficult to accomplish?
how can I fix myself?
What do I do with my fellings?
why do I even try? I always fail
I feel like I exist but don´t live
Do I want to live?
Does anyone know A movie/ series/book/ whatever, about a character that doesnt have friends and doesnt make friends but still end up happy even if alone?
I hate that I have noone to ask questions to
I am tired of ranting
Why am I sad about the show being over?
Why Am I so unmotivated?
Why am I so selfish?
I feel like I dont care about others, only when I need them
I only post here when I need advice, help attention what not
Why am I such a piece of shit

KM76710 · Jul 7, 2020

Palomahasdied said:

That is how I have always put my life into words. I exist, I have never really lived. With the exception of almost nobody I have never connected to the outside world, and I do consider it outside of my life. I can't blame others. I have a family that reading some stories when people introduce themselves here mine is wonderful, just no common interests. Most of those in my past I have been close to are long gone and way in my past. My closest family is my brother, sister in law and nephew. I think I see them all three or four times a year for a couple of hours. I have no interest and there is nothing beyond family that keeps us together beyond that bond. I often ask much the same: Why am I here, why do I exist, what is my purpose when I touch so few lives and never to a great extent by my being?

Walker · Jul 8, 2020

Palomahasdied said:

This is a cool link to an article on the front of the site (you can even listen to it instead of read

)
https://www.suicideforum.com/2017/01/14/i-hate-myself-and-want-to-die/

Palomahasdied said:

This is a forum - there are only a few people here at a time and people post what they feel strikes them. If you want more immediate people to talk to you might try going to chat.
I see you've been here for 5 weeks and have 100% of your posts in your own 2 threads. You haven't answered anyone else's threads where they are distressed so they're here for the same reasons you are, right? Kind of hard to reply to threads when you feel bad - so it's hard to say you're upset that people aren't replying "fast enough" to your threads when they're here doing the same thing as you.

Palomahasdied said:

It's different for everyone, right? Depends on what you have tried - and when - and how hard - and what place you're at in life. You're 22? You have a long way to go if you choose to.

Palomahasdied said:

It sounds like you do. You're here and you're trying.

Palomahasdied said:

I don't know about books and series but a lot of people are happy enough being "alone", if you mean romantically or whatever. People who fill their lives with "things to do" and "places to go" and entertain themselves are often perfectly happy without needing a 'someone' there to fulfill themselves further.

What show were you watching? Sounds like the ending did a number on you.

Palomahasdied · Jul 8, 2020

Walker said:

Its not about this forum, is about my " friends never answering my text messages to them, but ok

Palomahasdied · Jul 8, 2020

Walker said:

This is a cool link to an article on the front of the site (you can even listen to it instead of read

)
https://www.suicideforum.com/2017/01/14/i-hate-myself-and-want-to-die/

This is a forum - there are only a few people here at a time and people post what they feel strikes them. If you want more immediate people to talk to you might try going to chat.
I see you've been here for 5 weeks and have 100% of your posts in your own 2 threads. You haven't answered anyone else's threads where they are distressed so they're here for the same reasons you are, right? Kind of hard to reply to threads when you feel bad - so it's hard to say you're upset that people aren't replying "fast enough" to your threads when they're here doing the same thing as you.

It's different for everyone, right? Depends on what you have tried - and when - and how hard - and what place you're at in life. You're 22? You have a long way to go if you choose to.

It sounds like you do. You're here and you're trying.

I don't know about books and series but a lot of people are happy enough being "alone", if you mean romantically or whatever. People who fill their lives with "things to do" and "places to go" and entertain themselves are often perfectly happy without needing a 'someone' there to fulfill themselves further.

What show were you watching? Sounds like the ending did a number on you.

Community, its not a sad show, but like most shows it ends with everyone leaving and going their separate ways, like "moving on" with their lives

Palomahasdied · Jul 8, 2020

Walker said:

I don´t know how to reply to threads I don´t know what to say, I dont know how to be positive or give advice...

Wispiwill · Jul 8, 2020

Palomahasdied said:

1-People have lives. Whilst we might like them to be sitting ready and waiting for whenever we want to pick them off the shelf and play with them - we can't reasonably expect it. It's normal to want it though.
2-In theory yes but it's different from person to person
3-Not really a question but assuming you meant it as one - in theory you might be able to learn to not hate yourself but, again, it's different from person to person.
4-Because you're probably not noticing the things that are easy to accomplish. Look at breathing. I'm pretty sure you're accomplishing that and not really noticing that you're doing it. We tend to focus on the things we can't do or take effort rather than the things that are easy and take little to no thought.
5-I don't know. It depends upon how you're broken for a start and then you have to go from there.
6-Most people either feel them or repress them. It might be an idea to know which one you're doing now.
7-You try because some part of you is hoping that this time it will be different. It's called hope.
8-Quite a lot of people feel like that.
9-Probability suggests yes. Why else would you be here and asking questions?
10-No, although I have often wondered what kind of storyline you could have with that. It bugs me too that people in stories always seem to have people that care about them no matter what kind of person they are.
11-You do. You just asked them. Here.
12-This doesn't seem like much of a rant but, ok
13-Because you identified with it in some way - it became something of a friend or a familiar thing that helped to take your mind off your life. And now it's over. So, in a way, you're grieving it's loss.
14-Probability suggests that you're depressed.

LOSTINSIGHT · Jul 8, 2020

Palomahasdied said:

Hi ,i empathise deeply with your situation .its hard to believe sometimes .
a couple of years ago before i was as sick as i am these days. I watched a TV series called "RECTIFY" .I found it to be a beautiful story .give it a google .it brought out lots of emotions in me ,,albeit i wasnt the state im in these days .
Give it a try .if you ever watch it ,let me know on my thread .
Peace.

may71 · Jul 8, 2020

Palomahasdied said:

The links in my signature have some information about treatment methods. I'll post a copy in case you're on a phone

Treating Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia and General Help
Acupressure Self-Massage for Depression, Insomnia, and Anxiety

A member has recommended The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. David Burns. It's a book to teach yourself cognitive behavioral therapy techniques.

Palomahasdied said:

There are certainly stories of yogis who go out into the wilderness and just meditate, and they're so happy and just want to do that forever, though sometimes their teacher will say, "No, you've got to go back into society now and teach".

Walker · Jul 9, 2020

Palomahasdied said:

People typically do come and go from others lives. The friends that are there from childhood through adulthood and then into old age are very very rare. I don't think most people grab a hold of one of those during a lifetime. Sometimes you pick one up in childhood and hang on until university ... or pick one up in university and hang on until adulthood but people change so much it's hard to evolve through that changing life to still like someone so much from the time they were young kids all the way through being a senior. At the very least that communication is going to be sporadic.

Moving on or going your own way in life is just a means of opening a new door to new people and new experiences. It's not the people you were friends with "leaving" any more than you finding others with whom you share more experiences with. I can't even imagine being friends with the people I was friends with when I was, say, 16. They were tripping acid, getting high and breaking into houses. What would I have become? Sometimes you just move on from others -- and that's okay

Palomahasdied · Jul 10, 2020

Walker said:

People typically do come and go from others lives. The friends that are there from childhood through adulthood and then into old age are very very rare. I don't think most people grab a hold of one of those during a lifetime. Sometimes you pick one up in childhood and hang on until university ... or pick one up in university and hang on until adulthood but people change so much it's hard to evolve through that changing life to still like someone so much from the time they were young kids all the way through being a senior. At the very least that communication is going to be sporadic.

Moving on or going your own way in life is just a means of opening a new door to new people and new experiences. It's not the people you were friends with "leaving" any more than you finding others with whom you share more experiences with. I can't even imagine being friends with the people I was friends with when I was, say, 16. They were tripping acid, getting high and breaking into houses. What would I have become? Sometimes you just move on from others -- and that's okay

Still sad to me specially your first paragraph

Thoughts and Questions to myself and anyone who might want to answer

Palomahasdied

Active Member

Palomahasdied

Active Member

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager

Walker

Palomahasdied

Active Member

Palomahasdied

Active Member

Palomahasdied

Active Member

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member

LOSTINSIGHT

Well-Known Member

may71

mr. may

Walker

Palomahasdied

Active Member

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