The thoughts are getting worse. All I keep thinking about is what I almost did a week ago. I was supposed to move down south to be with my friends. To start a new life with people who cared about me instead of making me feel miserable. Instead all my friend wanted me for was a play toy. He lied to me and I trusted him. I got as far away from his place as possible. I had no money and hardly any gas to get back home. I finally had to stop for the night since I only had enough gas to get to a gas station. I slept at a rest area for the night and hopes of finding so nice people to help me get home. Waking up the next morning I felt worse then I did the night before. I didn't even bother asking anyone. I just went about my business. First I wanted to cut but chickened out since I hate pain then the thought of pills came into my head. I had everything planned out. I would wait till dark and take every pill I had in my possession. I would then wash them down with nyquil and just go to sleep. No one cared about me so I didn't either. Not focusing on people around me like I should have there was this guy who was watching me and what I was doing. If only I closed my moon roof so he couldn't see in I wouldn't be here right now. I would be with my grandma, who is the only one in my family who truly loved me. Why was I so stupid to leave my moon roof open? Why did that guy have to come talk to me? Why did I have to listen to him? Why did I accept the money so I could go home? Why didn't I just lie and say I was ok? I really hate myself right now. I don't even know why I posted this sorry. Please just delete.