I have no intention of killing myself. Its my moms birthday. Regardless thats all i keep thinking about. I can do it his way or that way or that other way. I can walk down the road walk into the hotel take the elevator up and.... You get it. (is it against the rules to post that? Mods edit that i so please.) But i wont do these things. This may pass. Kill me before i have to kill myself please.