Thoughts Have Returned

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rolodecks, Sep 23, 2010.

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  1. Rolodecks

    Rolodecks New Member

    My suicidal thoughts have returned. And they are pounding inside my head.

    I have dropped out of university due to extreme lack of motivation, which led me to deep pangs of wanting to stab myself. This ended me in a mental hospital. I was released two weeks later because they could not find anything wrong with me.

    3 weeks later, I took <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> and ended up in the hospital. Again, I was then put into a mental hospital, which after one month, I was discharged. Again, the psychiatrist could not find anything wrong with me and so could not diagnose me.

    Now, here, I am, I've been sitting at home, I'm 22, still living with my parents, very few friends of which all of them are at university.

    My suicidal thoughts have not been present for the past 4 months, they came back yesterday. And I know this feeling, I know where all this fantasizing of my own death in my head eventually leads to.

    There's nothing I can do about it. I have nothing to live for, there's no happiness in my life, and the very few friends I have, they have their own friends.

    I am currently trying to find a job, but I'm hardly trying due to my extreme lack of motivation. My sister says 'don't think about it, just do it' but hell, it's not that easy.

    I shall leave it here. I guess I am in desperate need of help.
  2. Hello! Welcome to the website, i've only been here a couple of days and I can already tell it's a great support system.

    I feel the same way as you do. I dropped out of highschool and I constantly regret it, but I did it also because I was not motivated in any way at all.. and now, I'm not sure where my life is heading. I've also wanted to commit suicide, but honestly that's not the answer. Your friends, even if it's only a few, care about you.. your parents and family care about you. I realize that you cannot get these thoughts out of your mind, but maybe do something to distract yourself from them? Something you enjoy and that makes you happy.

    As for the voices, If they said nothing was wrong with you, maybe you just need guidance. A consoler, maybe? Someone that you can just vent to and get everything off your chest. If you ever need anything, I'm here for you. Just shoot me a PM.
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