My suicidal thoughts have returned. And they are pounding inside my head. I have dropped out of university due to extreme lack of motivation, which led me to deep pangs of wanting to stab myself. This ended me in a mental hospital. I was released two weeks later because they could not find anything wrong with me. 3 weeks later, I took <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> and ended up in the hospital. Again, I was then put into a mental hospital, which after one month, I was discharged. Again, the psychiatrist could not find anything wrong with me and so could not diagnose me. Now, here, I am, I've been sitting at home, I'm 22, still living with my parents, very few friends of which all of them are at university. My suicidal thoughts have not been present for the past 4 months, they came back yesterday. And I know this feeling, I know where all this fantasizing of my own death in my head eventually leads to. There's nothing I can do about it. I have nothing to live for, there's no happiness in my life, and the very few friends I have, they have their own friends. I am currently trying to find a job, but I'm hardly trying due to my extreme lack of motivation. My sister says 'don't think about it, just do it' but hell, it's not that easy. I shall leave it here. I guess I am in desperate need of help.