Thoughts like mosquitos

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by live, Nov 11, 2006.

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  1. live

    live Antiquitie's Friend

    Hi,
    So what do people do with suicidal thoughts that come back day after day? I'm in therapy already, which is going really well, and the other symptoms of depression I had are fading out. I'm taking care of myself as best as I know how, and trying to reach out and talk to people when I need to and so on, but these thoughts just won't end. I used to think of killing myself as the lesser of two evils, but now I often think about it as a positive thing, like something to look forward to.
    All of the things I love to do bring up these feelings for me now, as I have lost my best friend who I used to do everything with, which was my own fault. I'm meditating a lot, which kind of keeps me a little more level, but I'm still totally nuts.
    I'm starting to think that I need to change my life situation seriously for this to stop. My problems are ridiculously hard for me to sort out, though- to do what I feel like I need to do would involve hurting someone in my life so severely that I think I might save them pain by killing myself instead. I've also brought a lot of pain on them and myself lately already, so I don't feel like I can do them or myself any good. Of course, I don't know if my decision-making skills are at their peak right now, if you know what I mean. Therapy is helping with that, as well, but its such a slow process!
    Anyway, if anyone has some tips or whatever, it would be appreciated. Take care.
     
  2. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Hmm well have you asked yourself which would hurt less. Your choice to change your life or you dying? I mean to that person.
     
  3. live

    live Antiquitie's Friend

    Mostly I think it would hurt less for me to change, at least in the long run. I guess sometimes the immediacy of my situation becomes overwhelming and I forget about the long run. Especially since my situation is so complex, that when I get down I lose track of everything.
     
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