Thoughts of a cutter (triggering, please be safe)

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by xoCherie, Jun 2, 2012.

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  1. xoCherie

    xoCherie Well-Known Member

    Running, constantly running from this nightmare that surrounds me
    Filling my thoughts, dreams, desires, impulses
    It's all I can think about

    Sit and stare at a wall
    Ignoring the world, ignoring the thought
    Cut. Cut. Cut.
    The word fills my mind.
    I shout back in my head
    "No! I'm fine! Never again!"
    Now. Now. Now.
    Yes. Yes. Yes.
    Need it. Crave it. Do it.
    Now. Now. NOW.

    Grab the blade.
    Stare at it for minutes, hours.
    The voice whispers in my head
    Do it. You'll feel better.
    "You said that last time."
    It's true.
    Weak. Pathetic. Useless.
    "I'm not any of that."
    You'll never be strong without me.
    "Leave me alone."
    Just do it. Do it. Do it.
    "If I do it will you leave?"
    Do it. Do it. Do it.
    Cut. Cut. Cut.
    Blood blood blood.

    Blade thrown across the room
    Or put back on the shelf it was resting on, buried beneath medication
    "I'm done. I don't want to do it again."
    Helped. Helped. Helped.
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