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Thoughts on attempting

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by aki, Jun 20, 2010.

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  1. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    This may sound stupid or bizarre to other people so please don't give out to me--

    I've never attempted and I somehow feel that people don't take me seriously because of that, on here and by professionals - doctors, nurses. Like specifically my suicidal thoughts are taken less seriously.

    I know one of the risk factors for suicide is a previously failed attempt, but I think it's stupid to presume that someone can't commit suicide without having tried before. Also, I think there is a lot of different types of personalities, some are more impulsive and so on, so not having attempted doesn't necessarily mean you are less 'serious' about suicide.

    Sometimes I feel with mental health professionals they have a list of boxes to tick when deciding to help someone, and if they haven't experienced it themselves they don't fully understand, so when someone doesn't fill a certain criteria then, obviously their condition is less threatening. It has to be black and white with them, because they usually do not fully understand, and also they can't always afford to help everyone.

    It's just kind of messed up that some people feel they have to attempt for people to care and truly take them seriously.
  2. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    The only reason I haven't attempted, and some other members here too, is because I haven't found a sure fire way of doing it. Just because someone hasn't 'done it' doesn't mean they don't have a plan.

    This is partly why I don't teel ANYONE about my suicidal thoughts etc etc. They might just push me away or not give a fuck :(.
  3. TheOncomingStorm

    TheOncomingStorm Well-Known Member

    I feel this happens too - before i attempted i dont think as though my suicidal thoughts were taken that seriously, i mean it'd be noted i said it, and they would express some concern... But now after an attempt, if i mention it, every one starts panicking and, what, ,not...also sorr,y for the excess comma's but my laptop keyboard is broken lol
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I have had three attempts and when I hear someone talking about ending it I take them very serious.. All it takes is that one time to actually succeed...
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    family history of suicide a factor hell itonly takes a moment of pain that overtakes rationality hell the ones that don't take you seriously are not the right professionals okay i don't even care what people think now just if you get to that point of breakdown get help okay before you can't anymore before the pain wins.
  6. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I am sorry they are not taking you seriously, they should. I do.
  7. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I totally agree with you Aki, I felt I wasnt taken seriously until I was sectioned. It was as if I just had these fantasies of killing myself, and was never really going to do it because I was talking about it with them. I think its a bad way to approach helping people dealing with suicidal ideation's cause wether you've acted on it or not, its still god damn awful to come to that place is it not?
  8. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Yes wow can I relate. I talked to a manager of A+E/CRT recently and this was exactly what was coming at me. The knowledge base is very little, they don't have a clue about what is a crisis and the many different types of presentations/nature of MH problem people can have. I actually had to ask, what is a crisis?

    Is there only one type of crisis? It was like pulling at an elastic band that was snapping right back into place talking to him, he just did not have any clue.

    I hate those checkboxes, but always remember their assessment of you doesn't make you who you are.

    In the past, I've actually had docs saying "WHY havent' you attempted seeing as you're so low." WTF really isn't it? I remember asking are you telling me to attempt?!

    I'm not one who attempts, I do everything not to, and like you, I'm taken less seriously- the main thing with me is because I am very assertive, I go there and I tell them I want to live. I might die. I need this help, right now, don't mess with me, I know what I want and what helps. And some nurses just don't like that.
  9. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    I've found the opposite. I've tried numerous times and I get the impression that they think I'll never actually do a proper job so they've no need to worry about it. However, as someone said, it only takes the once and I learn from past mistakes.
  10. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Oh yeah, I've heard this too. :hugtackles:
  11. politicat

    politicat Member

    I tried once, but a very long time ago. Counselors and psychiatrists don't take me seriously, though I don't say that much about it. I'm more afraid of being ignored if I talk about it then being committed.

    I can't believe your therapist asked you why you didn't attempt. I applied for SSI over a year ago. I had to do an interview with some asshole psychiatrist. The guy actually asked me, since I used to live in San Francisco, why I didn't jump off the bridge. I'm already ashamed that I didn't. But that's SSI, trying to deny me benefits by being dickheads, because that's what the government does. That kind of talk is super inappropriate for an actual therapist.
  12. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I have similar fears about being dismissed- it happens all the time when I'm saying anything. I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you, it's unbelievable what people think is good assessment isn't it? Like you say, those docs tend not to be proper doctors but poorly trained unprofessional people who work for the govt.

    That said my mother's gone through two physical examinations for Incapacity Benefit (similar to SSI) and the doctors treated her well, and she got her benefit. I think it might be very different for mental health...I personally never had to go through any questioning with a govt "doctor", although I hear there's a new DLA test coming out soon. Great. :mellow:

    I wanted to add- I understand when they ask "What keeps you here," but the tone this psych was asking me done through repeated questions, challenging "Why don't you attempt?" I think he wanted to have a strong reason to admit me to hospital too, easier to assess, control etc.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 26, 2010
  13. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    Aki, I feel exactly the same. Just because I haven't actually attempted doesn't mean I won't, yet this is exactly what people seem to think. To be honest, when I get this impression from someone it is a huge trigger for me and makes me want to attempt just to prove a point (crazy, I know, but I am).

    Only two people know that I'm suicidal; my counsellor and one of my best friends. Neither seem to take me seriously, which really hurts. I think my friend is in denial and hopes it'll go away if she ignores it, but my counsellor can't use that excuse.

    Right now, I'm actually ok, but I do have the means to kill myself to hand, so the slightest trigger could provoke an attempt. I do everything I can to avoid that, which is why I'm still here, but there will come a time when I can't evade the crisis, and I'm terrified I won't have the support I need.

    I just want to add (since this was all about me and that wasn't my intention) that I take you seriously, and wish I could help more.

  14. opnwhl4

    opnwhl4 New Member

    I wasn't taken seriously when I mentioned the suicidal thoughts. I just got more uhummms and meds raised. First attempt was was caught too quickly and I was let to go home again after 2 days in ICU (OD) I attempted again in 5 days and made sure no one would be home for several hours this time and used more pills. This was after I saw my therapist and psychiatrist and told both I felt like doing it again. This time I was way worse off and had much more intense ER treatment and ICU treatment. Also was told I could volunteer to go to the psych ward or they would get a judge to order it. I figured volunteering was easier. They let me out after 1 day in the ER/ICU and 4 days in the psych ward with 4 very short doctor talks and 2 therapist talks. Was told to keep taking everything I was taking meds wise as before my attempt and make an appointment to see my psychiatrist in a week. I really believe some of them don't care as long as they get money.
  15. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry they don't take you serously....
    I've had a method my whole life and the reason I haven't attempted is because it will work the first time....no doubt in my mind.....
    So anyone who says they are suicidal should be taken very seriously whether they have attempted or not...
    As stranger1 said..it only take one time to succeed and it's too late...
  16. Jace

    Jace Active Member

    I think the thought process of many professionals is that if you haven't tried yet, you're not at the point of attempting suicide.

    But who knows.

  17. doodles

    doodles New Member

    Maybe some of the difficulty to assess the actual severity of somebody’s suicidal tendencies stems from the fact that it is entirely human to think about killing oneself. Everyone looks into that possibility and has certain preferences in terms of methods.
    If you stopped any random, even the happiest-looking, person in the street and asked them how they would do it they would with all likelihood be able to answer you immediately.

    Well, I don't know...
    I can only share the general mood of frustration here.

    Hope all of you will find somebody to take you seriously because they care and not based on you being able to prove you're miserable.
  18. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    Hey, are there other therapists/doctors you can go and see?

    The shrink I went to after attempting took me serious and I think that helps a lot, it shows that people care and how serious the issue is. Having someone not take you serious can just cause you to want to do it even more.

    Take care & stay safe!

    :shipwreck: hehe
  19. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    I have found the opposite too like some have said, because I have attempted a couple of times now its like 'yeah she says she's getting thoughts of ending things but she wont get it right' last time before I took my last overdose, I told my cpn that I was feeling really unsafe and couldnt handle much more she just finished the meeting by telling me to keep safe and made another app for a few weeks time, I OD'd that week, unfortunately not well enough. Its like they dont take your feelings seriously and yeah if you dont tick all the boxes then you really are left to paddle your own canoe whether you can do it or not, I dont know what they got taught in their training??!!
    I'm sorry your feeling so low at the moment though, and yeah as others have said it only takes one right attempt to be the first and final or the final attempt so please keep reaching out for help x
  20. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Sadly but true. Doctors and psychs are just as in deinal as friends/family are....humans are extremely full of flaws.

    Please find another doctor who takes you seriously....it no different than buying a car from a salesman that you just don't like.

    MH patients b/c it involves so many types and levels, they begin to group us all the same.....FREAKING OUT and just having "a moment."
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