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Thoughts on Confidence


Recovering Alcoholic
SF Supporter
This is written from the perspective of a 53 year old heterosexual male to other men. It is meant for men, but I value input from women.

I think confidence is lacking in a lot of men today. I am going to tackle two facets of confidence today, personal hygiene and pornography.

First of all the things required for confidence is personal hygiene. Being clean and well groomed gives a man confidence. It makes you feel good about yourself.
1) Spend the money for a good hair cut. If you have facial hair keep it well groomed.
2) Trim your finger nails and toe nails and keep them clean.
3) Eliminate body odor in the shower. When I am going out somewhere I use 4 different kinds of soap. I have a Head & Shoulders Tea Tree Oil shampoo, a daily facial cleanser, Dr Bronners Castile Soap for my crotch, and a body wash for the rest. I use two different color wash cloths, one is for my face and the other for my crotch. I use a loufa for the body wash. The castile soap eliminates crotch itch, just be sure to rinse it well. It is expensive but a $15 bottle lasts a long time.
4) Pay attention to your clothing, wear something that is your style and looks good.
It is that simple. I know it is hard to keep up your appearance when you are depressed but if you can force yourself to do these little things you will feel better about yourself.

The other thing I wanted to address is how pornography affects confidence. Most women get upset when they find out their partner is looking at pornography and using it as a sexual relief instead of making love to their partner. It makes them feel like they are not enough. Sure some women do not mind and will watch it with you but that is not the norm. According to the book "Your Brain on Porn" 28% of men are addicted to porn. If you walk into a room with 4 men, one of them is addicted to porn. If you are at Walmart with 100 men, 28 of them are addicted to porn. Almost every man looks at porn occasionally. The release you get from porn sends dopamine to your pleasure center and the dopamine release is addictive. If you look at porn frequently, like once every month or once every two weeks it will take more and more stimulation to get the same feeling; the dopamine cements your pleasure center and you need more to get the same feeling. This causes you to find less pleasure in real life. Porn often causes Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. This happens even in young people in their 20s and 30s. A man ends up not being able to get an erection when faced with a live woman. This is a heavy blow to self confidence. There are websites like Reboot Nation to help you quit porn with many resources available. I think you will find if you stop watching porn after a period of time you will find greater pleasure in life, more meaning in a relationship, and more confidence.


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Did you just say you've got dick shampoo? Well I've never heard of such a thing. Clearly I need to work on my shower routine lol

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