thoughts on loneliness

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by aki, Jan 26, 2009.

  1. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    feel so incredibly awfully lonely, hollow and sad and jealous. I feel so sad when I see other people happy. One of my best friends on here has left for good as well recently and I miss her :( I just did that thing on msn where you go into options>privacy>right click on each contact and saw that a few people had deleted me. It's made me come to the conclusion that all the friendships I made on here were shallow and flashy but with no real substance. I try to be there for other people, I pm them, but (if they even reply) once theyve got what they need, advice, a listening ear, sympathy, whatever they leave. And then I think, well maybe they've just left the site for good, but then I see their messages on other people's profiles. I don't go on msn much and if I do I appear offline.
    It's always been this way. I would watch at break times as people I thought were my friends would laugh and joke and comfort eachother while I would sit by myself. When I'm upset, or if I have an argument, I go to my parents door and it's locked. And when I first came here if was like that but gradually I made friends but as I said it must have been on very shallow foundations.
    Whatever. :cry:
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm always here for you Elizabeth. I know how painful loneliness is. The door is always open with me. :hug:
  3. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    Sorry you feel so lonely ripper :( Dont blame yourself for the way your 'friends' have acted, this is one of the things depression etc does, it isolates people :sad:

    You do still have friends here, just not maybe the same ones. A couple of my friends have left here for good and i have just had to make new friends instead :)

    Take care ripper, hope you feel better soon, Lea :arms:
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    hallow! I'm back. :biggrin:

    I completely understand what you mean about surface relationships. I can't bear them myself that's why I tend to keep alone as I'm tired of them all.I know what you mean about shallow friendships and friends who are 'friends' that's it. I like you, I think you've got a lot within you and I'd love to see your painting and writing and whatever else you'd like to show me at anytime.

    Over the years I think it's really rare to find someone in real life who takes relationships and friendship seriously y'know? I don't know.

    And about the listening ear, and then they go- I've felt like that so much in my life. I used to say I feel like a 'safety blanket' for any so called friends I had. But what does that say about you? That you're caring, and empathetic. I've just learnt to discern when people are consistently like that and not to continue offering support to people who don't show any interest/concern for me or who are interested in showing how many friends they have as their contacts etc. It's not real, try and not worry ..:hug:. Or it could be because they are going through their own rubbish and they forget you maybe, which might not be to do with you at all?

    I used to do that too. :biggrin: Have you noticed though, that they might be going through all the moves and not really caring? You never know.. a lot of it could be a show because they are so insecure themselves as individuals, to show that they 'belonged' that they had a group of friends who 'cared.' You never know what's going on in their heads and if their friends actually give a fuck about them?

    And your parents ignoring you sounds awful and isolating. It's completely understandable you feel the way you do.

    I hope that helped. Don't know if that was me you're referring to in your post but you're sweet and I do hope you feel better soon.
  5. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Sorry that your feeling this way. Perhaps those people have been busy as of late, hence the little contact they have or perhaps like you said, they got what they wanted and went.
    As low as you might be feeling now, things can get better and you will make genuine, strong friendships.

    By the way ggg4567 are you back for good? if so, welcome back.
  6. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I am. Thanks I didn't think anyone noticed my 3 day absence :tongue:
  7. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    That sounds pretty douchey for them to leave you hanging like that.

    Anyway I'm here if you want to talk. :hug:
  8. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    thanks :hug:
  9. blade

    blade Well-Known Member

    hun, im always here when u need to talk, i come on here 1 a week to c new posts. but u can email me anytime hun!

    i know what u mean. peopel treated me like that too, now all those people are in my past they arent inportant to me at all. prove them wrong.

    now they talk to me they think we are all good. just because ive got family problems with my mum and stuff, they all feel sorry.
  10. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    i know its hard to not let those 'shallow' friendships get you down but the best thing is that you concentrate on the true friends that you do have and not get bogged down about those that have unwillingly hurt you without realising x
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Ripper,
    First thank you for your replys when I left the forum!! I remember something Gentlelady said to me. When you are thought of as being so positive people tend to forget that you are suffering also...That really struck a cord with me because I am not positive all the time. when I come on the forum I try to be as strong as I can because I do care what others are going thru. And I try to make a difference in how they are feeling. If I can help just one person a day then it helps me. When I am offline I am a total mess. My little vacation showed me just how much others do care!!! You can PM me anytime when you need to talk. I am a good listener and I know how to keep my mouth shut. I had a lot of practice at that for the last fifteen Take care and I hope you are able to let this go so you can keep moving forward!!! ~Joseph~
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Elizabeth, you know I'm always here for you,anytime :arms: